The eclipse that I didn't forget!

It was way too late to blog about by the time I got back from it, so I guess I'll just do it quick now...

There was a full lunar eclipse a few days back. Abbi told me about it in advance, so I was ready...I headed over to the Rockwell-Collins presentation (skillfully missing Shroud, who wanted to discuss putting LU Blues in the paper--which we are! see http://www.kiolia.com/lublues ) and as it was getting over with I ran outside, bringing various people along, and by that point the moon was half-eclipsed. I wound up meeting a couple of folks up on the berm and was all sat on the concrete and watched and talked...the moon didn't so much fade away as just go this nifty, marlike tint. It was certainly fascinating. I went back to the room since it was supposed to pretty much just stay that way for about an hour, and then headed back out to watch the second half--the "uneclipsing", as it were. The moon looked like it had a huge smiley face for a while as the shadow crept up and away from it. We just sat and talked while that happened for oh...two and a half hours...after the moon was done with its thing we just watched clouds, and also this really big owl that came by to inspect us. Owls are pretty amazing creatures. It was a long time to spend so late at night when there was homework waiting to be done...but it was worth it. It was restful; and true rest is something I am striving to get more of.

noteables/quoteables

• Waking Ned Divine turned out to be an awesome movie. We watched it, and it was all about old Irish people that were funny! And the evil old lady TOTALLY ate it at the end. I won't spoil it but it was awesome. I laughed really loudly and then announced that I love happy endings. Because it was!
• I finally put my secret to getting along with most anyone into words: "The shorter your memory is, the easier you'll get along with most everyone!" with regards to vengefulness.
• Walmart and Whataburger are my favorite late-night W's. (what about WIHOP?)
• God has blessed us with an awesome crew of friends--I hope we never forget what a privilege it is! It's not always easy.

I was gone and now I'm back.

This break, I think, turned out a lot better than I was hoping. It started off somewhat dubiously--with my suit coat failing to make the Dallas connection along with myself. I had therefore to improvise slightly for the funeral. That all ended up being beside the point. I read Psalm 23 at the service, and then proceeded to cry a lot when my sister, brother, and cousin Molly read other selections.

The funeral finally provided, in my mind, some closure; a good end to my dear Grandpa Boo (Louis Pray), imperfect like everyone but beloved all the same...gin rummy, poker, yahtzee, and pepsi always typified a visit with him, along with great cooking. He also was constantly whistling this little irish tune you could never quite make out through his teeth. Always the same one.

I got a lot of mental rest this break, which was something I needed desperately. Often at school have I let myself accomplish nothing importantly, but it is very rare that I allow myself time with myself...I have a predisposition towards constant occupation of my time. That I intend to change.

Some things I appreciated during my break:

• The kitties! The owner's manual mentioned that Siameses could be very talkative and energetic, but the issue of constant petty theft never came up...they're more like monkeys, constantly getting in the way of accomplishing something useful, plus they've got a thing for Q-tips and nail files.
• Michigan apples. Sweet and yumbly this time of year.
• Real fall colors! Flying into Grand Rapids was like splashing into a sea of fire...and the forests near my home, alive with vibrant oranges above and below, really astonished me.
• My dog, Max. Just the right size for a good cuddle, and he's always willing to share your apple with you.
• Super Smash Brothers...yay for one of my favoritest video games. Also, Wipeout64. I've got to see if there's a sequel because that game is possibly the coolest racer ever, though not for multiplayer.
• My whole family. They are awesome, and they take good care of me, much more than I take care of them, though I try to do that too.
• A lesson from Nanny. She woke me up Monday morning and told me about giving over cares and worries to God--but to this she added something new: taking both my hands and cupping them, she raised them up. Put them here, in your hands, she told me. Tell God you're giving them to Him. And then--pour them out of your hands. The object lesson really makes it feel real...try it some time.

And finally, a song I wrote that found a place in the second part of my book:

What’s got you so frightened?
Are you afraid of dyin’?
Why you always lookin’ like
you’re lookin’ for a better life?
Lookit the road beneath your feet
and all the friends around you
How can you say you’d rather be
anywhere but here?

anywhere but here?

You just can’t see past the next bend;
whether it’s new or has always been
makes no difference in the end-
you’ll get there, or you won’t, my friend.

So don’t say you’d rather be anywhere but here
say you want to be nowhere but in my arms.

...no, it's not directed at anyone. I am going to avoid being oblique in this blog, or using it to say things I don't want to say to someone's face. That practice is something I'm not planning on perpetuating.

Break.

A lot of people were surprised when they asked me why I was going through the expense of flying back to Michigan for a four day weekend and I told them it was for Grandpa's funeral. It seemed to come as a surprise that when I found out he died, I didn't run off and tell everybody all at once.

Truth is...after about the third "Oh...I'm sorry man, that sucks," I just quit telling people I didn't know well enough to have a meaningful discussion about it with--not that I had a large volume of those. The ones I did have were amazing. However, most people had nothing to offer on the subject but abstract sympathy, so I just didn't bother laying the issue on them at all. I don't really care for abstract sympathy; I didn't want to go around looking like I was just fishing for pity, and since I wasn't, I didn't go around.

In large part I fear going home this weekend. At a distance from the situation, without family, I've been conscious of very little emotional reaction. However, I know that I've been affected, because it's been reflected in other areas of who I am and what I do. I'm afraid that going home will mean facing those supressed factors. I hope that in God's strength I will be able to find them and lay them to rest, so I can hit the second half of the semester fresh and clean. That is something I desperately need to do.

-------------------

Now it's about an hour before I need to head off for my flight outta here. I'll probably bring my CD player...again. I don't know why I do that; every single time I try using it, it works for about ten minutes of playtime, and then becomes obstinately unwilling to admit that it still contains a disk and can't be convinced otherwise until the next plane flight. It irritates me every single time, but I have yet to get on a plane in recent history without my irritating little yellow cd player and book o' cds.

To everyone on break: I'm praying for you guys--rest, peace, safe travel, and to a second quarter together again.

Where and when I sorta wish I was right now...

I was sitting here doing my thermo homework when, of a sudden, I thought of my trip to Sleeping Bear dunes this summer and I really wish I was there right now. It's hard to convey the scale of those dunes without bringing somebody there; I'll just say...miles and miles of dunes. Huge rises and dips, every peak reached bringing a brand-new vista, uncountable stalks of dunegrass swishing as wind from lake Michigan coasts through...and better yet, there's often not another person in sight.

That visit, we watched the sunset, and then turned around and watched the moon crest the horizon just after. (It was some kind of astronomical event.) The night rolled in and the stars came out...and that far from cities, you can see stars, believe you me. Sitting atop a sand peak, the deep blue of lake michigan stretching from north to south in one direction, and an undulating sea of grass and sand around you...that's peace, to me.

Sociable creature though I can be, I'd rather be out by myself sometimes...thinking, not speaking (at least, not to other people--I do hold dialogues by myself). It's as if--once away from the house and people--my mind comes alive...I think that once I can find somebody with whom I can find that same condition, even in their company--that will be someone special.

crazy hot

The weather has been as confused as it's been confusing lately. It's been overcast, too hot, and muggy as anything. I swear, I've never seen it like this here before--and all the more weird in light of the fact that about a week ago it was settling into a very comfortable cool sort of idea. This morning, as I skated along, I was reminded of nothing so much as standing before a deliciously cool mister fan; then it got up to 80 degrees and the air turned into one of those pillows you see people getting asphyxiated by in the movies. Honestly...I mean the other night, it was 90 out. That is not right. Any God-fearing, proper bit of weather this time of year ought to at least be cold, like what I'll be flying back to this weekend for Grandpa Boo's funeral.

It was a great week, therefore, for the AC to be out in two of the three wings of our dorm. Thankfully not ours...

I AM the cute-o-meter.

I realized today that I can always tell which of two things is cuter. For instance, did you know that:

• Marmalade is cuter than ice?
• Lacrosse is cuter than Basketball?
• Kittens are cuter than puppies?
• Alligators are cuter than crocodiles?
• McDonald's burgers are cuter than Saga burgers?
• Pink is cuter than Fuschia?
• Nerds are cuter than geeks?
• James is cuter than Ben? (however, Ben is cooler than James.)
• American Eagle is cuter than Abercrombie and Fitch?
• Maryland is cuter than Pennsylvania?

Well, it's true. I have detailed reasoning for all of those, and no, I won't tell you!

people, or a lack thereof

Every so often I think about how nice it would be to get off somewhere away from everyone and have some time to myself.

I thought about this a lot this summer, particularly when planning the 50-mile hike along lake Michigan's Sleeping Bear National shoreline. You would think in a National Park there would be at least an absence of people...right? Well...turns out it's a recent park, and more than a few people already had residences there when the park was created. They've got 99-year leases now, and then they have to pack out--technically. Actually, most of them are challenging the leases in court even though their grandparents agreed to the idea.

It is really hard to truly get away from people...I mean, in anyplace that's not clearly inhospitable. There's hundreds of thousands of square miles of desert and mountain and tundra and whatnot that nobody lives in, but it's pretty obvious why. I like exploring...I think the whole idea of being the very first person to have a look-see around something--or at least the first person in a very long time, I'm not too picky--would be totally awesome. That's probably why the oppurtunity crops up so often for the folks in my book. I love writing about exploring and describing--and drawing--unknown places, mysterious landscapes, and ancient ruins, and most especially exploring them alone. I wonder why, specifically, that should be? In any case I think I'm pretty good at it...heh.

The thing is, though I certainly do like being around all my friends here, I spend an awful lot of time by myself, and that by choice. As a kid I was never much of a people person...I typically had precisely one best friend at a time. I spend a lot of time in...what do they call it, my internal landscape? By which I mean, I think about a lot of things, a lot of the time. So while I like being around everyone, it's not my "original" people-related behavior...and I think I like myself being like that.

That was a little disconnected. Oh well, it makes sense to me.

swipe!

Yeah, so, I helped run chapel readers this morning with the guys. By running chapel readers, I really mean I idly watched people swipe--or try to swipe--into chapel.

The best part was when I saw someone I knew, and in that case I would swing the cart around when they lined their card up with the reader, saying things like "Whoops!.(schwing)..Too slow!.(Swing)..Aw, too slow!.(swing!)..Whatsamatta, you can't swipe in?" muahahaha. Only Speedy and Jeanette were quick enough to swipe in before I was done having my fun. Heh, heh, heh.

stories I remember

Did anyone else read a lot of Beatrix Potter's stuff as a kid? I still love those stories...Peter Rabbit...Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle...Babbity Bumble...chamomile tea...Mr. McGregor...and fishing for sticklebacks. And the watercolor illustrations were so good...My mum has some book of hers just full of notes and studies by Beatrix...and letters...she just sketched and sketched and painted and painted...things in her garden, in the English countryside, that sort of stuff, and it's all so beautiful. I think Potter's work is right up there with A.A. Milne, although I sure read more Winnie the Pooh as a kid than Potter.

People ask me somewhat frequently why it is that I am an engineer when my favorite activities are fairly clearly drawing and writing. Well, beside the fact that it's kinda tough to make money in those areas (This is not really a limiting factor for me...) the real reason is, God led me very, very strongly to this University. LeTourneau has been, hands down, the most influential factor in my life, where I have had such a wonderful experience of spiritual growth, and met so many people I feel quite privileged to call my friends. I know it's the right place for me. But I can't study art here, and I (quite snobbishly) feel that I have no need for instruction in writing, not, at least, the story-writing I enjoy most. Therefore...Engineering it shall be, for as long as I'm at LeTourneau.

stuff....

Some stuff happened today. Funny how that goes!

Well, anyway. I made my first sale on eBay today, and it went well. I actually got my homework done on time and I'm going to bed before 1 am. We also played Dorm 4 in volleyball today, and they were somewhat less than gracious opponents...and they edged us out in the last game for the win. I did have fun though, and fun serving...my strategy is: find their weakest player, the dude most likely to not return it--and give it to him over and over. Switch it up, maybe, occasionally, but I managed to pull it off well enough that they were taunting me and suggesting that perhaps I was deficient in my manhood. That's, well, the kind of game it wound up being. At least a lot of people showed up to watch us, which was cool.

I also got a great care package from mum today...full of candy and suchlike. And some fresh Michigan apples. I really miss fall in Michigan...raking leaves (and subsequent jumping therein)...baked pumpkin seeds to munch...the sunny, clear, and cold weather as the leaves coast down off of the trees in virmillian showers, the dogs running around outside, country fairs with the folk-art type peoples, crunchy leaves underfoot as we played in the yard. And Apples...crisp as the air outside, sweet and yummy, with lots of cider to go along with the donuts.

I think that time is pretty much past now, back home...or well, maybe it'll last as long as Hallowe'en. Sometimes it snows by the 31st. I hope I have time to enjoy it, at least a little bit...I called home because I need to come up with some scripture to read at my Grandfather's funeral, and when I talked to Grandma Bee she kept crying. I'm sort of a sympathetic cryer in times like this...I don't usually cry right away, but when I can hear it in the voice over the telephone line...there I go.

ever curious about patron saints...?

I found this because I was bored and then ben and I wasted an hour finding various crazy patron saints and reading about them. Try it....it's addictive!

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/patron00.htm#s

Also, Ben says he would be the patron saint of stupid people.

What would I be the patron saint of...?

professors and other stuff

This morning, I was in LH at about 8...not many classes in there around that time (or at least the labs were empty). I looked in one of the rooms and saw a prof standing by the projector, just wiping the glass clean in preperation for class.

These guys (and gals) do a lot for us as students. They get up early, go to bed late, and get to deal with that most cumbersome of problems--people--as their profession. After working as a janitor (and sunday school teacher...), I thoroughly support the concept of humans as basically evil. Now, I'm no misanthrope (which I hope is obvious!) I'm just saying that well, people can be tough to deal with. Teaching is a tough job.

That's why, for the most part, I try to at least be facing a speaker or prof, so they know they've got my attention. Unless I'm drawing or taking notes...I'm not perfect. Oh well.

Otherwise, I wasn't too excited about this week, but now that all the stuff I had to get done last night is over with, it's looking better. Things can seem pretty hopeless when it's 2 in the morning and you're not done with a lot of stuff that needs doing. But hey, it got done, and if my gotcha target will just turn up in my cpo, I think it'll all be good.

cursed rain, but okay

Sounding negative too often really isn't my thing...but if there is ANY weather that I really don't like, it is the kind molesting my eyes outside the window right now...breezy, drizzly, cold, and gray.

If it were just rain, that would be okay. But this weather seems engineered to be specifically unpleasant. Oh well. It might be nicer tomorrow. And it does make me appreciate the sun a little more. As if I could appreciate it more!

My mint likes the sun almost as much as I do, and it likes water more than I do...right now it's poking its head through the shades, as if that might earn it a little more sun. Sorry, it's not even out right now!

Also, if I look thoughtful or anything like that lately, it's probably because my grandfather Pray died in his sleep of cancer rather unexpectedly on Thursday. I'm not fishing for pity here, I'm just getting that out in the open...it was unexpected, though, and I think prayers--especially for my family in general--would be appreciated the most. A few folks have really helped me out in this matter and I appreciate that greatly. The Lord has really given me peace on this matter, praise His name. And there is NO doubt about where grandpa is right now, which really makes it all better anyway. I'll see him again. I hope you will too.