Break.
A lot of people were surprised when they asked me why I was going through the expense of flying back to Michigan for a four day weekend and I told them it was for Grandpa's funeral. It seemed to come as a surprise that when I found out he died, I didn't run off and tell everybody all at once.
Truth is...after about the third "Oh...I'm sorry man, that sucks," I just quit telling people I didn't know well enough to have a meaningful discussion about it with--not that I had a large volume of those. The ones I did have were amazing. However, most people had nothing to offer on the subject but abstract sympathy, so I just didn't bother laying the issue on them at all. I don't really care for abstract sympathy; I didn't want to go around looking like I was just fishing for pity, and since I wasn't, I didn't go around.
In large part I fear going home this weekend. At a distance from the situation, without family, I've been conscious of very little emotional reaction. However, I know that I've been affected, because it's been reflected in other areas of who I am and what I do. I'm afraid that going home will mean facing those supressed factors. I hope that in God's strength I will be able to find them and lay them to rest, so I can hit the second half of the semester fresh and clean. That is something I desperately need to do.
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Now it's about an hour before I need to head off for my flight outta here. I'll probably bring my CD player...again. I don't know why I do that; every single time I try using it, it works for about ten minutes of playtime, and then becomes obstinately unwilling to admit that it still contains a disk and can't be convinced otherwise until the next plane flight. It irritates me every single time, but I have yet to get on a plane in recent history without my irritating little yellow cd player and book o' cds.
To everyone on break: I'm praying for you guys--rest, peace, safe travel, and to a second quarter together again.
Truth is...after about the third "Oh...I'm sorry man, that sucks," I just quit telling people I didn't know well enough to have a meaningful discussion about it with--not that I had a large volume of those. The ones I did have were amazing. However, most people had nothing to offer on the subject but abstract sympathy, so I just didn't bother laying the issue on them at all. I don't really care for abstract sympathy; I didn't want to go around looking like I was just fishing for pity, and since I wasn't, I didn't go around.
In large part I fear going home this weekend. At a distance from the situation, without family, I've been conscious of very little emotional reaction. However, I know that I've been affected, because it's been reflected in other areas of who I am and what I do. I'm afraid that going home will mean facing those supressed factors. I hope that in God's strength I will be able to find them and lay them to rest, so I can hit the second half of the semester fresh and clean. That is something I desperately need to do.
-------------------
Now it's about an hour before I need to head off for my flight outta here. I'll probably bring my CD player...again. I don't know why I do that; every single time I try using it, it works for about ten minutes of playtime, and then becomes obstinately unwilling to admit that it still contains a disk and can't be convinced otherwise until the next plane flight. It irritates me every single time, but I have yet to get on a plane in recent history without my irritating little yellow cd player and book o' cds.
To everyone on break: I'm praying for you guys--rest, peace, safe travel, and to a second quarter together again.
posted by James Pray at
2:45 PM
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