I AM the cute-o-meter.

I realized today that I can always tell which of two things is cuter. For instance, did you know that:

• Marmalade is cuter than ice?
• Lacrosse is cuter than Basketball?
• Kittens are cuter than puppies?
• Alligators are cuter than crocodiles?
• McDonald's burgers are cuter than Saga burgers?
• Pink is cuter than Fuschia?
• Nerds are cuter than geeks?
• James is cuter than Ben? (however, Ben is cooler than James.)
• American Eagle is cuter than Abercrombie and Fitch?
• Maryland is cuter than Pennsylvania?

Well, it's true. I have detailed reasoning for all of those, and no, I won't tell you!