I was gone and now I'm back.

This break, I think, turned out a lot better than I was hoping. It started off somewhat dubiously--with my suit coat failing to make the Dallas connection along with myself. I had therefore to improvise slightly for the funeral. That all ended up being beside the point. I read Psalm 23 at the service, and then proceeded to cry a lot when my sister, brother, and cousin Molly read other selections.

The funeral finally provided, in my mind, some closure; a good end to my dear Grandpa Boo (Louis Pray), imperfect like everyone but beloved all the same...gin rummy, poker, yahtzee, and pepsi always typified a visit with him, along with great cooking. He also was constantly whistling this little irish tune you could never quite make out through his teeth. Always the same one.

I got a lot of mental rest this break, which was something I needed desperately. Often at school have I let myself accomplish nothing importantly, but it is very rare that I allow myself time with myself...I have a predisposition towards constant occupation of my time. That I intend to change.

Some things I appreciated during my break:

• The kitties! The owner's manual mentioned that Siameses could be very talkative and energetic, but the issue of constant petty theft never came up...they're more like monkeys, constantly getting in the way of accomplishing something useful, plus they've got a thing for Q-tips and nail files.
• Michigan apples. Sweet and yumbly this time of year.
• Real fall colors! Flying into Grand Rapids was like splashing into a sea of fire...and the forests near my home, alive with vibrant oranges above and below, really astonished me.
• My dog, Max. Just the right size for a good cuddle, and he's always willing to share your apple with you.
• Super Smash Brothers...yay for one of my favoritest video games. Also, Wipeout64. I've got to see if there's a sequel because that game is possibly the coolest racer ever, though not for multiplayer.
• My whole family. They are awesome, and they take good care of me, much more than I take care of them, though I try to do that too.
• A lesson from Nanny. She woke me up Monday morning and told me about giving over cares and worries to God--but to this she added something new: taking both my hands and cupping them, she raised them up. Put them here, in your hands, she told me. Tell God you're giving them to Him. And then--pour them out of your hands. The object lesson really makes it feel real...try it some time.

And finally, a song I wrote that found a place in the second part of my book:

What’s got you so frightened?
Are you afraid of dyin’?
Why you always lookin’ like
you’re lookin’ for a better life?
Lookit the road beneath your feet
and all the friends around you
How can you say you’d rather be
anywhere but here?

anywhere but here?

You just can’t see past the next bend;
whether it’s new or has always been
makes no difference in the end-
you’ll get there, or you won’t, my friend.

So don’t say you’d rather be anywhere but here
say you want to be nowhere but in my arms.

...no, it's not directed at anyone. I am going to avoid being oblique in this blog, or using it to say things I don't want to say to someone's face. That practice is something I'm not planning on perpetuating.