And then, BAM
I don't know if this ever happens to you, but every so often with me, I catch a particular smell or song or sensation, or catch on to some tail end of a thought train I've followed before, and it brings me back to someplace I'd rather be so much more than where I'm at. So often for me it's thoughts of summertime.
I love summer, so much...not just the weather and season but everything that goes along with it for me, like working at some story on the computer while the sun is out, coming through the windows, and I can hear the breeze in the birch trees and the birds chirping out their songs by the bird feeder. I don't want to sound like I've got some romantic conception of writing as a career, because I don't think I do -- but there is nothing to me like sitting down and writing it all out like that, especially in the summer, when I can go out for a while and smell the mint patch, go for a swim, watch the boats, or sit in the sun with Maxy dog. I can wait for that most of the time, but sometimes something conjures it all up in my memories and I just feel like exploding because I can't have it right now. I really should feel blessed that I have something like that to fall back on, because I think for a lot of people summer just means dusty backyards and too much heat; nothing beautiful, just vague discomfort...
I can stick it out through school, though; mechatronics is still unpleasantly hard and Phoenix is still a ways from happening but overall, this has been a pretty enjoyable semester. I just wish I had more of a feeling of...I guess accomplishment. I'm a senior, I've battled through almost four years of school now, and I just feel like getting it over with. It's not, to me, like building a house or something, where you get closer and closer to getting done and when you're done you've got a house, which is a good feeling. And yet for me it's also not like, say, digging a hole, where you finish out and you're just further from the sunlight than ever. I've accomplished a lot, grown a lot, met wonderful people. I just don't feel like it was anything monumental. But it was good. I'm pretty sure it was good.
I love summer, so much...not just the weather and season but everything that goes along with it for me, like working at some story on the computer while the sun is out, coming through the windows, and I can hear the breeze in the birch trees and the birds chirping out their songs by the bird feeder. I don't want to sound like I've got some romantic conception of writing as a career, because I don't think I do -- but there is nothing to me like sitting down and writing it all out like that, especially in the summer, when I can go out for a while and smell the mint patch, go for a swim, watch the boats, or sit in the sun with Maxy dog. I can wait for that most of the time, but sometimes something conjures it all up in my memories and I just feel like exploding because I can't have it right now. I really should feel blessed that I have something like that to fall back on, because I think for a lot of people summer just means dusty backyards and too much heat; nothing beautiful, just vague discomfort...
I can stick it out through school, though; mechatronics is still unpleasantly hard and Phoenix is still a ways from happening but overall, this has been a pretty enjoyable semester. I just wish I had more of a feeling of...I guess accomplishment. I'm a senior, I've battled through almost four years of school now, and I just feel like getting it over with. It's not, to me, like building a house or something, where you get closer and closer to getting done and when you're done you've got a house, which is a good feeling. And yet for me it's also not like, say, digging a hole, where you finish out and you're just further from the sunlight than ever. I've accomplished a lot, grown a lot, met wonderful people. I just don't feel like it was anything monumental. But it was good. I'm pretty sure it was good.
posted by James Pray at
10:49 PM
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