Now what?

Home again...it's a good thing. It's not the place it once was, but I knew that already--being away for so long does that. Now it's time to get a job, or so I'm told. I'm having a hard time getting into it; I feel like, since what I really want to do is write books, anything else is nigh-equivilent to a waste of time, since I'd be planning on leaving from the start, and that doesn't sit well with me. Moreover, a heavy sense of apathy has settled over me for the moment; I'd rather take life slow for a little while, but that hasn't been an option in a long time, and I don't know why I feel like it should be now. I at least have a resume in with a firm in town, but I know one resume at one place doesn't cut it.

I need to pray about getting a better attitude about this; God made humans to do useful things after all--not to lump around in search of the next form of entertainment...I am happy right now, but I know I am not content. Each day is too fragmented, part of only itself; I lack a thread to pursue from day to day at the moment. I would start my next book if I wasn't supposed to be getting a job...that in itself is frustrating, having the proto-manuscript floating around in my mind and knowing I don't have the month or two of uninterrupted time I would need to commit it to solidarity in the computer. But for the moment, I need to pursue God's will for me...which is something I think I've been lax in for some time.

It's time to work.