Sunshine makes me happy

Dreams

2008-04-10T09:13:00.002-06:00

So I overslept this morning. I open my eyes and it feels like it's been much longer than I set my alarm for and sure enough, it's 11 and not 8. I immediately concluded that my alarm clock had never gone off (for the 4th and crucial time that morning) and proceeded to go give it grumpy looks.

THEN I remembered a VERY long and irritating dream I'd had earlier, in which I had been trapped in a hotel where there was a loud soundsystem that was only playing a radio station fund drive. I had spent what felt like hours trying to find the switch that would turn it off...

I guess my poor old radio alarm must have given up at some point while I tried to shut it off in my dreams. I had to laugh, there.

As for the rest of life, the semester is grinding to an end like a millstone with me stuck inside. I dream of finishing my book this summer...

Steps

2007-08-24T15:55:00.000-06:00

Today I took my life in my own hands--at least, it felt that way--summer's over and I drove down to Kalamazoo to get started in on moving into my own personal very first apartment at Western Michigan University.

Mostly that boiled down to spending about 3 hours with a tilex-soaked sponge and a little extra with a vacuum. It really wasn't too dirty. The previous tenant, apparently a young muslim woman, left behind the following:

2 Romance novels;
1 handwritten letter to an unnamed boy, discussing the reasons he should marry her to keep his honor before Allah;
1 pair of scissors;
1 boxed pregnancy test, open (I didn't see if it was used);
1 donation tract for an Islamic Society of some sort;
and
1 Western Union reciept for a money transfer of roughly $475,000, in spanish.

So that was kinda weird. It's hard not try to put these things together in some logical way--the money receipt especially has me hoping some angry people don't show up looking for something--but I have bigger fish to fry, such as getting furnature down to school, and this game of Bioshock that just finished installing. Bye for now!

hi?

2007-08-08T14:02:00.000-06:00

Hey to whomever reads this one, how's things?

I'm doing okay...all right, better than okay, but hey, I'm apparently two and a bit weeks out from jumping back into school, and it'll be a big, uncomfy change and all. It looks like I'll be moving into my own apartment down at school, and for my assistantship, I'll be teaching Comp class to freshman...sounds like we're getting a week's worth of crash courses to help us get started but then we're off and into the classroom. This is kind of scary; I mean, I bet I can do it, but I never even took this sort of coursework at LeTourneau, so aside from reaching back (way back) to my highschool days, English educational material is, well, a tad bit unfamiliar to me yet.

So far this summer, looking back, I did a lot of wakeboarding, a lot of work, but only some writing...the novel redrafting is coming along, but more slowly than I wish it were; what's come out so far, though, I'm very pleased with. 20k down, 80-100k to go? I'm hoping to finish it by November, more or less. A goal. I also saw a man die this summer; the son of one of our neighbors, an epileptic, about 30 years old, who had a siezure in 7 feet of water near the end of our dock. I helped get his body onto the dock, and some other people did CPR until the paramedics arrived, but even though he'd been under for just about a minute, it was already too late. Sobering and saddening; my friend, who was on the scene before I was, is still having nightmares. I've been all right, though it was sort of hard to sit through a mandatory CPR class at work the other day. All I could think was it didn't work, it didn't work, although the autopsy showed that the man had had a heart attack sometime during the process, so all in all it was never looking good for him. Anyway.

And for those who asked, like Freezy, I have no idea what is up with my site. I need to switch hosting. It goes down; soon as I complain it comes back up, but never before. And my chatbox seems to have died, and the company that supported it seems to have a broken site. Arg.

Summar

2007-05-12T17:48:00.000-06:00

First week of work's done. Getting up early (5:30) isn't so bad, despite the fact that days before I started I was still sleeping in until 10 or 11 every day. I feel pretty much as tired no matter when I wake up, unless I keep setting my alarm ahead 15 minutes at a time for an hour or two, in which case I will feel much worse.

Basically for work (which is at a golf course, the 9th rated one in the US--they had the PGA there in 1927 and decided not to do it again because the crowds messed everything up) I get to mow greens in the early morning and chase down random grounds keeping the rest of the time. Pretty standard stuff I guess. The other people on the crew have all been there at least a few years, so I've gotten some standard new-guy treatment, but it's all right. 8 hours a day, out at 3, not so bad.

The area up here in northern Michigan is pretty slow in May; it'll pick up in another 3 weeks, but for now, it's pretty quiet and coooold in the morning. I've already helped build another pond in the front yard with Grandma and the puppy. The puppy, Peggy, is a little hyper dachsund who runs around a lot and is really into chasing people's feet. If you're barefoot she nips your toes, and if you pet her she nips at your fingers. If you tie your shoes she goes haywire...

Besides all that I'm trying to get geared up for more writing. I started a short story that I had a good idea for but am still poking around at finishing it. Hoping to use that for a warmup before diving back into redrafting my other book. And at some point I need to start thinking of how to do a little preperation for teaching in the fall. I don't know that much about it yet.

Whoa man

2007-04-22T17:58:00.000-06:00

We celebrated my brother Will's birthday today. I guess he must be 19 now...man, I feel like I wasn't 19 that long ago. I picked him out a nice longboard to ride around at campus and wherever.

It's finally getting pretty hot here in Grand Rapids. I saw 81 degrees on the little weather center we have on the wall...and it was so miserable a few days ago. Two weeks ago I skipped a class because the snow was so bad it wasn't worth trying to drive.

On the matter of classes, I'm almost done with my two for this semester; a 10 page term paper to put together by Tuesday for Lit and a bunch of polish on my online content for Tech English Teaching. It's been an interesting semester for me, I guess; Tech was a great class, with a lot of stuff I could do well and a great Prof too. It reminded me of the honors classes from LETU--a one-off class with a lot of experimenting on the part of the Prof and a fair amount of "what do you want to learn, and how do you want to learn it?" Renaissance Lit has been fairly straight-forward...less out of class than I was figuring on, although this paper will haunt me if I don't work on it a lot harder before it's due. I enjoyed getting more exposure to a lot of historical literature; I mean, I've always loved to read, but not so much classical material.

I should be looking at getting registered for the Fall term soon here. I don't have an assistantship yet, and I probably won't wind up with one this go-through, but there are definitely some great benefits to doing one (tuition paid, $7000 in your pocket). I told them I didn't want one when I applied, but I've since been told that I should think about one if an opening came up. It's an intimidating thought; sounds like you teach 6 credit hours of Comp 101, and I suppose that's not bad, but it's still getting up and teaching. I guess the really intimidating thing to me is just what next year means to my lifestyle. I don't think I'll have time for much playing around, especially not if I do get an assistantship. I've had a lot of free time this semester and have not had the motivation to do pretty much anything. It's been rediculous.

Anyways, hopefully this summer will put me into some semblance of shape; I'll be working full time grounds crew at the country club at the cottage. The most important part is that it's going to be the early shift. I need to go to bed on time, get up early, and get outside, every day.

Back to work, yar!

Again dreams

2007-03-26T10:04:00.000-06:00

I had a dream this morning that's still sticking with me, still bothering me...

I was making my way through a broken city; it seemed to have recently hosted some conflict or disaster, I think, but there wasn't any fighting now, nor really any people. I was in the company of a small mechanical teddy-bear of sorts--like the one from that AI movie, I suppose?--as I went. I don't remember what we talked about. At some point the bear developed some kind of problem; it was like a cough that sounded like "Rue!" and he was talking to me about how something was wrong with him, but I wasn't really paying attention. Even though I sound like I was very careless with regards to the bear I think I was supposed to be very fond of him in the dream's context; other things were just more important.

We stopped in a filthy abandoned apartment and the bear suddenly sort of seized up and turned off after saying its batteries were running out. Now I did get worried about him, because I believe he was supposed to charge his own batteries by eating (not entirely sure what his diet was supposed to be, seemed to be small toys). I immediately tried to fix him, first by examining him all over, then resetting him with one of the switches I found under a plate on him, but after he turned back on he was wrong somehow, like his personality had been lost or corrupted.

At this point I don't remember exactly what happened but I left the bear behind and kept going; I don't know if I meant to come back. I had some kind of cell phone and I called the bear, but I got some sort of unfamiliar technician on the line who explained he was "another part" of the bear's circuitry/AI/whatever. I tried to explain what had happened to the bear and the voice eventually said, "There, I've made a few adjustments. He should be fine."

I never got a chance to go back for the bear, because I woke up and couldn't find the dream again when I fell back asleep. But I feel terrible for leaving him behind. Maybe I'm too sentimental.

Steering

2007-02-07T17:10:00.001-07:00

Hey, all.

It's been a good deal of time since I updated this blog. Enough about that.

I've applied to Western Michigan University's Masters program for a degree in Creative Writing. It starts in the fall. I don't know if I'm in yet; in the mean time I'm taking a pair of courses on the WMU main campus, which is about two trips and $25 of gas away per week.

Grad-level english classes are challenging my mind in new ways, but they're pretty interesting and I'm enjoying the exposure to a lot of new ideas. I'm pursuing this mostly because I'm hoping A) to become a better writer and B) to finish out my book's revisions as soon as I can...

On the book, I'm working on doing a full re-write, revising as I go, the same way I did to the books I wrote in high school. It takes a long time sometimes; sometimes I'm working a paragraph at a time, a paragraph a day. It's been difficult to work consistantly. Mostly because it's winter...

Yes, the seasonal depression continues to lurk. I don't want to blame any lack of diligence exclusively on that, but I know it makes it harder to get motivated, harder to not just "coast." I want to create things. I hate not having some kind of output.

Steering

2007-02-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Up

2006-11-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

Today was the kind of sunny-with-clouds that really made me wish I could hop out of the truck and just zip around a few thousand feet in the air, and skim around the sunbeams. Yeppers.

Besides that, work continues, as does the search for a real varient thereon; the reading of my book was purportedly finished last weekend, but I know nothing further yet. Onwards to thanksgiving this week -- and olive balls, which are a delicious recipe handed down to me from my great-grandmother. I think I'll need to make several hundred to keep up with demand this year...

Hey A.A.

2006-10-13T22:07:00.000-06:00

I think I've finally figured out what my favorite quote in the world is.

Owl: "An ambush is a sort of surprise."
Pooh: "So is a gorse bush..."

Also, it's been snowing here, already! Cold cold cold...
But I also sort of forgot how, well, quiet it can be when it's snowing hard and the wind's calm. There is nothing that is quite that brand of peaceful. And when you wander the halls of your own home by yourself with the lights off, and the snow reflects in through the windows...that means something to me, anyway. That's the kind of alone time that is really good.

I've been everywhere, man...

2006-09-30T09:31:00.000-06:00

Which isn't really true. But I have done a lot of different things. In my continuing quest to learn about different careers (though mostly to make some cash) I've been tending a bricklayer that works for my uncle. Tending means hauling bricks and mixing concrete and stuff...it's hard work. Good for my arms, mean to my back; decent money, though I have to get up by about 10 til 6 in the morning which is pretty darn early for me.

No luck on a real job so far. Michigan, I'm told, has the nation's worst job market right now, though I'm pretty sure I can land one if I keep looking. I'm still working on a few leads. I guess I just imagined that it would be easier than this...pass a few resumes around, know the right people, send in a few apps, and I'd be in for interviews in no time. Instead it's been playing phone tag and waiting for responses to applications sent in weeks ago, and that kind of deal. Bothersome.

Anyway, besides that, I've been trying to work on my book and it's not going very fast; working all day hauling stuff around makes me too tired to do much in the evenings. I did get an actual short story written the other day. I think it's pretty good, so I might try to get it published, but it's also kind of weird/maybe a bad subject, since it's about a kid who straps a bomb to himself to get money from a factory where his dad died in an industrial accident. Who knows.

That's all for now. Catch you guys later.

Different

2006-08-27T12:29:00.000-06:00

This morning I dreamt that I was moving back to school for the year. I saw a lot of friends. Then I woke up and remembered that I'm not going back to LeTourneau...but I guess my body remembered that this would be the right time of year.

Also, I turned Twenty-Two today. That seems neither young nor old. I guess I'll save being old for being Thirty or something. Ha. I got money, a book, and some underwear. Ironically, I did appreciate the underwear since I seem to have lost most of mine...

Here's some pictures of wakeboarding this summer.
http://www.kiolia.com/wake1web.jpg
http://www.kiolia.com/lol360.jpg

August

2006-08-20T14:51:00.000-06:00

Hey guys. Well, I've been back and stuff for a while. Once I got back to the cottage I wound up spending a lot of time with my various cousins and uncles and aunts, did a healthy amount of wakeboarding (might get pictures soon), and otherwise have been bumming around. I've been trying to work on the book some, but I've been irritatingly slow at it lately; a paragraph or two here and there. Between a slow part to write and just laziness on my part it might be a bit before I manage to plough through; but I've got the next few days to myself and it might happen then. I'm cycling past sociable into more of a loner bent the past few weeks, just waiting for things to get out of my hair a little so I can work on the stuff I want to work on, which is selfish at more than one level, but it's still the way I feel.

I want my book to keep getting written while I'm still otherwise unemployed, but when I write, I need a long break-in sort of period to get started, and I need it after almost any interruption longer than getting up for a snack. So while I'm needed by anyone else, writing goes soooo...slowly...and the nature of my prose seems to get thicker and more choppy. Once I've gotten rolling paragraphs start coming out so tight that they defy editing; nothing else will fit in without breaking the flow like a big rock in the river.

Anyways, I'm looking at getting back to Grand Rapids around the end of the month. I'm planning on picking up a job in technical writing. I actually found the report-writing aspect of the projects at school to be the easiest part of the task, so I think it would be a good spot in the industry for me to start in. After the job...moving out? One of my friends is pressing me to get some money so we can go in on an apartment together, which honestly is sounding good to me at this point. Not that I don't want to take advantage of my parents' hospitality and love for a while longer (and get some money banked while the cost of living is low...) but having my own place, even if it's shared a little, doesn't bother me at the moment. Maybe I'll come to feel otherwise, heh.

So for the moment I feel like I'm on cruise control to an extent. My hands have been almost (not quite) not even on the wheel this summer. I don't know if this is a good or bad habit, but I feel like sometimes just letting external forces push me around a little can help me feel out His Plan to an extent, coupled with prayer and time in the Word anyways.

Hope you guys are doing great :)

Montana, and stuff

2006-06-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

Montana is a pretty interesting place. It kinda reminds me of someplace like Nebraska, only everything got rumpled and rocky. Cities are few and far between, and they are not for the most part very big that I've seen. But there is lots of distance to look at, and neat things in it sometimes.

I've been at a cabin in Wise River, which is sort of in the south-west bit of the state. Taking care of my cousin has been going pretty well...I am developing empathy for housewives, heh. Basically I get up in the morning and do things with him while my uncle is out guiding customers for the fly-fishing resort. I've learned to fly fish pretty okay, but I still have a ways to go. I am decent at casting now, and at getting the fish to strike at the fly (which is supposed to be the hard part) but so far I can almost never set the hook and actually bring one in. Oh well. Fly fishing is really neato, honestly. Getting a long bit of wiggly line to not only land in the right place, but to use it to make the fly (which has to look just right) float just right, in the right sort of place, is totally an art/science unto itself. And then there's catching the fish you've fooled into sucking your fly down. I've also had time to drive up into the middle of nowhere and hike a few times.

In my off moments I've been working on the story which follows the one I wrote last summer. I'm about 10k words in so far. Still no word from the publisher that has my story, but I did find out that it is at least actually in the queue waiting to be read. So that's good. Other than that, I've been missing the internet (just got dialup set up to our cabin) and the friends I talk to through it, of course. I've been so occupied trying to keep track of my cousin, keep the cabin clean, make food, etc., that I've got plenty to do anyway.

Some pictures!:

Some mountain goats that were in no particular hurry to get off the road...
1/2 of the total fish I have landed while fly fishing...

One of the rivers we've been fishing in.

If you email me I might take some time to get back to you, and I'm sorry about that, but internet is questionable out here. meh! Email me anyway and I will <3 you always.

Plans change

2006-06-08T10:20:00.000-06:00

Hm. Long story short, I'm heading to Montana tomorrow morning through the 24th of July, to work for my Uncle Stuart. I'm a little fuzzy on the nature of the work but it sounds like I'll be working with my 11-year-old cousin Jonothan with some sort of homeschooling exercises, along with just general stuff...if I still have internet access while I'm there, I'll try to post some pictures or something. Good money for one thing, but for another thing this might be the last chance I get to do something like this. A chance to jump on...

Now what?

2006-05-25T12:07:00.000-06:00

Home again...it's a good thing. It's not the place it once was, but I knew that already--being away for so long does that. Now it's time to get a job, or so I'm told. I'm having a hard time getting into it; I feel like, since what I really want to do is write books, anything else is nigh-equivilent to a waste of time, since I'd be planning on leaving from the start, and that doesn't sit well with me. Moreover, a heavy sense of apathy has settled over me for the moment; I'd rather take life slow for a little while, but that hasn't been an option in a long time, and I don't know why I feel like it should be now. I at least have a resume in with a firm in town, but I know one resume at one place doesn't cut it.

I need to pray about getting a better attitude about this; God made humans to do useful things after all--not to lump around in search of the next form of entertainment...I am happy right now, but I know I am not content. Each day is too fragmented, part of only itself; I lack a thread to pursue from day to day at the moment. I would start my next book if I wasn't supposed to be getting a job...that in itself is frustrating, having the proto-manuscript floating around in my mind and knowing I don't have the month or two of uninterrupted time I would need to commit it to solidarity in the computer. But for the moment, I need to pursue God's will for me...which is something I think I've been lax in for some time.

It's time to work.

it's over!

2006-05-06T15:17:00.000-06:00

That's it. Walked this morning...no diploma yet, but I'll get it as soon as grades are in for the Senior Design stuff. I'll post some thoughts and stuff later...I'm kinda trying to pack all up, which is generating a disturbing number of boxes. But I'll make it.

I'm pretty sure I missed a fair number of goodbyes, and for that I'm sincerely sorry. Once moving out starts it's hard to make sure other things happen too. I'll be trying to catch up with some people soon, though.

Love you all, let's keep in touch.

Good Game

2006-05-04T11:17:00.000-06:00

Mechatronics final is done...and I think I win at College.

It's all God's doing yo

poke...

2006-05-02T23:21:00.000-06:00

Closer, closer. I'm trying really hard right now to re-learn all of mechatronics in two days...I've never been so hot at studying, but I think I can at least do this much. Mechatronics, as it turns out, is my only graded final to take (because of exemptions), so at least there's not much in the way of other schoolwork to distract me. Unfortunately, there's plenty of distractions besides that, but they were always there.

Jordan's leaving tomorrow afternoon. I guess he will just be pulled from my life a little sooner than everyone else. I started spinning a spiderweb as soon as I got here, little lines strung to so many people, places, things to do, and most of it is going to be shredded as the Gregg County to Dallas connecting flight leaves the pavement on Sunday. Will I ever be in a place again where I'm so connected to so many people in this way? A more disturbing question is, will I feel particularly upset if I never do? Already over the past year I've been distancing myself from a lot of people, not consciously I guess, but I think I do know why, and hopefully I will regain my footing in this regard.

The reason, I believe, is that I totally burned out on putting time and effort into relationships last fall. There's a specific incident in mind there, of course, but in general terms, I finally realized that I'd misdirected my social focus in a way that hurt me and some other people a good deal, and read my own desires into a situation where they didn't belong, so I tried to put a few things right. I felt so good afterward because I was finally able to stop worrying all the time that I rebounded emotionally almost immediately. But I think I lost something in the process, which was a lot of commitment in the rest of my relationships.

Pursuing other relationships, and nurturing ones I'd started, suddenly seemed so much less deserving of the expenditure of effort. It may be a while before I really realize the opportunities I let pass me by this past year. And here I stand, on the brink of another ripping transition, about to be pulled away from so many people--many of whom I know I'll never see again, talk to again. So many relationships, so much time, and for what, in the end? Memories I'll lose? I think I long for permanance that I neither work for nor deserve. I know my contact with the lives of others, and theirs with mine, is all just part of God's great scheme; influences and learning experiences and memories intertwining.

I guess all I really mean is that I'm going to miss everyone. A lot.

I think I need a change of pace, though. It's time. Something different, somewhere different, not anything nuts, but I need to get my head out of Texas and back in the game.

games, games, games

2006-04-30T19:19:00.000-06:00

Lucky: "Time to go back and play school..."

Me: "Meh. I've been playing at being a student for four years."

Jimbo: "Ha, I'm into the bonus stages now."

it's late

2006-04-27T00:31:00.000-06:00

me: "Come on, Walmart is open 24 hours a day!"

ben: "I'm not!"

Sleep, wuzzat again?

2006-04-25T10:38:00.000-06:00

I always forget that this is the worst time of the school year, the time when the needs of the body go forfeit to faciliate completion of the grade.

But at the same time, the final requirements of each class are being knocked out one by one...the end is so close. Mechatronics will be the sticking point. I'm currently failing. It's the first class I've ever run into that I really. just. plain. don't. get. Thing is, the final is worth nearly a third of the total grade, so it's not as if it's impossible to pull my grade up the 5% necessary to pass. It's just that, given my current comprehension of Mechatronics, this will be the hardest exam I have ever taken. I will literally have to study as I have never studied before.

Graduate or don't graduate.

The final's next thursday, by the way, and there's nothing you can do better for me than to pray for me. Thanks :)

The Third Day

2006-04-16T02:08:00.000-06:00

HE is risen indeed!

homestretch

2006-04-10T10:08:00.000-06:00

Well, it's the proverbial "go time." I spent all weekend in Dallas reffing the college paintball national championship for $125 a day, which worked out pretty well in terms of money, and it was certainly a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. Except for Friday, which was utterly exhausting...but in any case it was really nice to get my mind entirely off school for a while.

Now that there's less than a month of school left it's feeling a little crazy, like there's not enough time left, but I feel confident I can make it. How nice to be nearly finished...

/cry

2006-03-28T01:06:00.000-07:00

grrr.

It looks like, rather than a pleasant coast down to the end of the semester in May, the remainder of this semester is going to be hard, full of work -- mostly a gauntlet of school that I can't, lately, seem to conjure up to Moxie to work on. I guess it's probably S.A.D. from the oft-unhappy weather...it doesn't feel too bad but I'm still rather apathetic lately, and prone to bigger-than-usual emotional tumbles after dissappointments. The only big one so far was spending all day saturday trying to make our Phoenix helicopter #1 fly, only it developed problem after problem, and then when we thought we had all the problems fixed, the thing was incapable of completing the task to begin with. A lot of prayer and a good hot shower had me back on my feet, but I really don't care for just falling into despair over stuff like that.

Where's my freakin' Sun already?

Understand that it's late, so I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I'll feel better in the morning, but seriously, projects, applications, who knows what all, all rushing faster every week down to graduation...and then what? I don't want to do this, I don't want to go there, but I don't know what I want to do, either. Forget more studying; it's past my bedtime by a long shot, and if I get brutalized by that quiz in the morning, it's my fault for not studying sooner.

Oh yeah, and our toilet's broken, too! Hilarity.

baby james

2006-03-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

lookit it's me when I was 8 months old! wheeeee

meesa back

2006-03-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back, and vacation certainly was full of interesting things (and plenty of travels). Tell you about it a little later with some pictures maybe. Also, as an addendum to my previous post, they begged me to go to Thanksgiving, which I did not, and only asked nicely for me to come fro spring break, which I did.

Spring Break!

2006-03-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

Well, Ben and Brianna have been asking forever, and it seems like a good idea, so I'm driving away with them for spring break to Missouri and Nebraska for a week! Hopefully good food and stuff will abound. It'll also be good to spend some time with them before the inevitable end of school...

See you all next week.

And then, BAM

2006-03-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but every so often with me, I catch a particular smell or song or sensation, or catch on to some tail end of a thought train I've followed before, and it brings me back to someplace I'd rather be so much more than where I'm at. So often for me it's thoughts of summertime.

I love summer, so much...not just the weather and season but everything that goes along with it for me, like working at some story on the computer while the sun is out, coming through the windows, and I can hear the breeze in the birch trees and the birds chirping out their songs by the bird feeder. I don't want to sound like I've got some romantic conception of writing as a career, because I don't think I do -- but there is nothing to me like sitting down and writing it all out like that, especially in the summer, when I can go out for a while and smell the mint patch, go for a swim, watch the boats, or sit in the sun with Maxy dog. I can wait for that most of the time, but sometimes something conjures it all up in my memories and I just feel like exploding because I can't have it right now. I really should feel blessed that I have something like that to fall back on, because I think for a lot of people summer just means dusty backyards and too much heat; nothing beautiful, just vague discomfort...

I can stick it out through school, though; mechatronics is still unpleasantly hard and Phoenix is still a ways from happening but overall, this has been a pretty enjoyable semester. I just wish I had more of a feeling of...I guess accomplishment. I'm a senior, I've battled through almost four years of school now, and I just feel like getting it over with. It's not, to me, like building a house or something, where you get closer and closer to getting done and when you're done you've got a house, which is a good feeling. And yet for me it's also not like, say, digging a hole, where you finish out and you're just further from the sunlight than ever. I've accomplished a lot, grown a lot, met wonderful people. I just don't feel like it was anything monumental. But it was good. I'm pretty sure it was good.

yay

2006-03-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

it's sunny outside! wheeeee

I feel like I'm running out of internet. Art forum postage seems to be at a low ebb. And in the meantime I've been feeling a more creative bent than I've been on in a while. Here's a linky to a product of that from lately. http://p211.ezboard.com/ffoxprintsfrm2.showMessage?topicID=2355.topic

Work!

2006-02-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Yow!
So last week I wound up with a lot of things to do, and this week seems to be even more so. I have gotten out of the habit of...doing...homework somewhat over the past year, but I'm doing it anyway. Mainly, I've lost a good sense of how long it takes to get things done. Key concept: Much longer than I think.

Something I feel bad about just now is that I was approached by one of the people running for student body president next year, because they wanted what amounted to character vignettes in comic strip format. They didn't offer compensation, but I said I could prolly do that, and so forth. Well, every time I thought about it since then I kept realizing that I basically couldn't do what they were asking. I don't know why, precisely; probably doesn't help that I don't know them very well. And now I've got so much work that it won't get done anyway.

I don't want to just go "You got what you paid for, nyah" because that's not how I feel, because I do like helping people and don't like having to back on things I say I'll take care of. I learned my lesson, though, and turned down an opportunity to do a logo for some folks (again, uncompensated)...

I like drawing stuff, and I wish I could spread my work around more I guess, but my time is pretty finite, and I think people assume that when they ask for some graphics-type work they're asking for me sitting down for ten minutes and taking care of it, whereas in reality they're asking me to think about the thing for maybe a day before sitting down and hashing it out for a few hours, and if it's big enough it might need more iterations of that cycle. I guess I could sit down and do something in ten minutes, but not probably something I would offer to someone. I guess the moral of the story is, James wants to draw for free but gets in trouble when he tries.

Typical tired sort of post, this is. Blame the weather :D

I think this is a good way to be.

2006-02-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Robotics

2006-02-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

I think you know a lab period is gonna be good when the professor (Dr. Lee, my favorite Korean dude ever) introduces it thusly:

"The most important thing here is safety. For example, Robot may go crazy."

Out of my hands

2006-02-03T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well, my manuscript is off. Lost in the bowels of the US postal system for three to four days before it will be disgorged in Montana, change hands again, and be lost in the bowels of a publishing house. Probably for months. Let's hope it returns!

Seriously. I'm excited and stuff...but in all reality it will be quite a while before I have a yea or nay on the matter. I think I'd rather wait a little while than know instantly, though. I think so. I had to sneak into the lab late at night to print it all off--248 double-spaced pages, plus a map and a cover page, for 250 pages even.

woooot.

UBER!

2006-01-19T00:31:00.000-07:00

Well! I'm back at school, hanging with friends, actually trying to do homework, paying a fortune for books, and even more. But that's all kinda overshadowed for me right now.

Somebody at DelRay wants to read my manuscript. So I just need to finish out my editing and get it the heck outta here. I'll keep this space updated when or if things start happening.

gogogo. (praypraypray)

Howlidays

2005-12-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hey, thanks for checking in! Guess what! I passed all my classes (albeit some not-too-gracefully). I'm praying I can take the academic beating to heart and actually work during the spring semester.

Christmas went great, though a little quietly; I've been able to catch up mostly with most of my friends from GR. Though some people I just can't get enough of, you know how that goes. Ah well.

I've been taking some of my free time to try and finish out a final draft of my book. I started off by running through and fixing all of the mechanical errors and weird word choices--basically anything that required just a couple of words or a new sentence; next is the revision of 16 different scenes that needed to be fleshed out, extended, or cut back to meet pacing needs. After that I'm planning on reading the whole thing out loud to myself (which really makes anything awkward pop out), correcting as necessary, and calling it a done draft.

You can polish a rock or a knife until it is shiny; you can keep going until it's gone and all you're left with is dust. You can do the same thing to a written work--refine and polish until there's nothing left. That's why I'm intent now on going just so far and no further with the editing, because I doubt I'll ever be totally satisfied and comfortable; you know how that can be. At some point I have to start sending out query letters, and barring some misfortune or other I think I'd like to be doing that before February is out. There: a date. Hold me to it.

Anyways: I've also started the arduous process of applying to a couple of graduate programs (Caltech and UofM to start with, plus a few others). I don't think, at this point, that I'll be doing grad school yet. It's not a place to find yourself or learn about your interests--it's a place to research something you already want to learn about, and do it until you almost die. Or something. But I'm not at that sort of point yet. But I'm sure going to apply anyway, just in case something changes. I just see this as the sort of thing I could be kicking myself for a ways down the road. If I don't, I mean.

In my ongoing quest to figure out what I ought to be doing, I'm interning at Hughes Group (http://www.hughesgroup.com) in St. Louis next week and then going straight to school from there. I'm enthused about it.

...

2005-12-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

I seriously can't believe I'm done. Hopefully I can look back later and call this the toughest semester of my colleege career, and not the toughest so far...

I had to forgo sleep tonight to finish/try to finish my vibrations final, which was hard, brain-bending, and time-consuming. I worked about 12 hours straight before putting it down about a half hour ago so I could clean up...man...

I know I had to clear out of here pretty fast and missed saying goodbye and merry Christmas to a lot of people, so consider yourself goodbye'd and Merry Christmas'd! :)

ohhh, THERE's the light thingie at the end of the tunnel.

2005-12-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

Well!

Classes are over now. It was so great on about Wednesday when I suddenly realized that everything I needed to do fit on one little list, and it was a list that was steadily declining in size.
I'm gonna list what's left (partly to refresh my own memory, sorry)

Write a 12-16 page paper on the Christian Philosophy of Engineering
Finish designing a Digital Audio Amplifier circuit board
Finish the Vibrations take-home exam
Present some stuff for Senior Design on Tuesday
Take the Microprocessor final Wednesday
Pack up, pack out, and leave @ 6:30 AM Thursday

I can't believe it's so close now. This whole year has gone...well, not quickly, it's been arduous, and yet I really felt good inside this year in a lot of ways. There are some things I dropped that I need to pick up again, yes. But I also laid some stuff to rest that needed to be. Time to move forward -- Grad School? Maybe. I'm not sure, but I'm applying anyway. The more I think about it the more I honestly believe writing would be a sweet career in every aspect but the money-making area. I mean, I think I'm a great writer (and you should too!), but you have to be a writer that caters to the masses juuuust right in order to make money at writing. Who knows? Maybe I can. Maybe not. If I can get used to the idea of being poor for a long time, I think I might give it all a shot.

Anyways, I also saw Narnia this afternoon, and I must say, if you take how bad the BBC movie was, that is how good the new one is. 1/BBC = New. Yeah. I was on the border of tears a lot and half the time I wasn't even sure why. It just feels meaningful. And good. And the White Witch did some awesome duel-wielding swordsmanship, which I thought rocked.

Man, I should also mention that I really want to get home...It's time to be done with school for a while and there's people I really want to catch up with. Plus kitties, snow, and hopefully ice hockey. And cute people!?!

It'll be a short break, though -- two weeks in Grand Rapids, and then I'll be off to St. Louis for a week to intern at a marketing firm. Should be interesting, could be fun...

To bed with me! And good day to you :D

nearly there...

2005-12-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

The end of the semester is basically only two weeks away now. Man. It's been a long run. I got a good bit of administrative stuff done today in terms of holds, financial aid, dropping Mechatronics so's I don't need to worry about it, and so on. This week has pretty much been me and my engineering groups getting projects done and turned in and presented, and we're nearly done with that stuff. The projects are decent chunks of your grade, but generally they're not tough to do well on if you put in a little effort with your groups...

We also played some intramural volleyball tonight against 1B and then 2A...in a row. We won both games; they're using regulation-height nets for women's league, which makes it really easy to spike it. Spiking the ball into somebody's face is the best...It's refreshing to intersperse mental labors with athletic activities, you know?

Anyways, I should be flying home after finals on the 16th or 17th. Woo.

yay

2005-11-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm feeling good right now.

First reason is that thanksgiving is in a coupla days, which'll rock. I'm heading up to the casselberrys' place in oklahoma for some food and comp'nay.

Second reason is that, well, I was bumming around thinking I would most likely need an extra semester to complete my degree since I'm failing mechatronics. However, I just threw together my schedule for next semester after running a degree audit, and I can STILL finish my degree out in four years even and take Mechatronics again next semester. It'll only be 17 hours, even. Now I just have to not fail anything else. God's taken me this far...

ZHHHHWWEEEEEEEEEEE

2005-11-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

So today we broke out the Turbine-powered remote control helicopter.

It is pretty hardcore.

It has a little computer in charge of the Turbine (which is pretty much a real jet engine the size of a jar of peanut butter) and it more or less starts itself up. I was in charge of holding a little detachable computer that tracks the RPM and temperature of the engine during start up. So we get it going and it goes

POP

POP

SHOOM...FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

And I watch the little display I'm holding go from 6,000 RPM up to 40,000 RPM and the temperature go from 100C to 500C in a matter of seconds and this thing is roaring, and the whole time I'm wondering when the clutch will grab and make the rotor blades choppa my head off. They didn't though. We flew it a little before we started haveing mysterious battery problems, so, we'll be working on it. It was still a pretty neat experience. The heli is huge...

edit!
Here is a linky to a video of a partial start-up of the helichopper. Right-click save as.
http://users.bluebonnet.net/~rchelicopter/letourneau.wmv

Facebook

2005-11-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

So, facebook.

Interesting concept...though in LeTourneau's case it seems to have turned into an only slightly glorifed version of the so-called personal ad. Seriously though, why would most people of your same gender want to know every last bit about you? Actually, it can be interesting to a point, and it's nifty for seeing what your friends are up to I guess, though I think blogs > facebook by ratio of about 1k:1.

Yes, I did sign up and you can search me out, though you get to sift through my information for the truth between a lot of stuff I wrote in there because it was late and seemed hilarious at the time. Nobody better take it seriously...heh heh.

I'll probably fix it later. But I might keep that picture, because it rocks. What picture, you ask? better check it out yourself! http://letu.facebook.com/profile.php?id=159100563

all's quiet on the Texan front

2005-10-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Not too much to report. Break was nice and relaxing...I split my time between WoW and editing my book. The book's coming along pretty well, but for now...back to homework!

Eww...homework.

:)

Also, my mum had her uterus and things like that removed on Thursday, and that went fine, which is an answer to prayer. Yay for surgeons, because they keep my mum up and running!

"My ma always told me: 'Never eat singing fruit!' " "Wise woman."

2005-10-21T09:56:00.000-06:00

You are the the Swedish Chef.
You are a talented individual, nobody understands
you. Perhaps it's because you talk funny.

FAVORITE EXPRESSION:
"Brk! Brk! Brk!"
HOBBIES:
Kokin' der yummee-yummers

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"Wild Strawberries...and Creme"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Der Swedish Chef Kokin' Bokin'"

QUOTE:
"Vergoofin der flicke stoobin mit der brk-brk
yubetcha!"

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hehehe. He's my favorite muppet too!

Fall break is here! Or it will be after Microprocessors at 12 o'clock. I plan to make it 4 days of sleeping in, playing games, and working on my book. I guess that besides the book part, that's a lot like the rest of my days...but stop talking about that! Nyah! I plan to get the first round of editing actually written into my book, and following that I'll be letting some people read it and so forth.

My brother Will is visiting now too. It's pretty chill. I've been showing him things on campus and hanging out and watching Firefly (the series related to the movie Serenity) which is my favoritest show ever. Dang. Watch it! It's got teh funny and teh awesome violence!

Ok, I'm off!

why?

2005-10-09T17:09:00.000-06:00

Why do I update this blog?
A lot of blogs seem to be for people to whine about life, or expound upon their thoughts about stuff. I think the whiney ones can burn. Well, maybe not. I guess they're probably cathartic. But really, whining should go into journals or something, not up on the internet. As for thoughts about stuff? That's cool. I would think about posting my thoughts about politics and things, but I really don't pay enough attention to things like that to offer much of an opinion.

I guess I figure that I go to other people's blogs to find out what's been happening in their lives, and that's what I put here. Not everyone can talk to me all the time to find out about all the (occasionally) interesting things that happen to me, so that goes here. Ideally I suppose my family could be checking up on me through here, but they don't seem to do that too much. I also like this blog because I can put things in here that I thought should be seen: comics, links, etc. I guess the whole thing's a little narcissistic, really, but I hope you like it anyway.

In other news, I'm very tired with school. Or more accurately I'm tired of doing homework. I'm down with going to class and stuff. I just don't like doing much out of class any more. I acknowledge that this needs to change. This is the year that I need to be on the ball! But it's hard. There are so many things I'd rather be doing!

Hmm. Yeah, I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now. How'd you guess?

the results are in...

2005-10-05T09:15:00.000-06:00

Well, took the GRE yesterday. Official results should be in within 2 weeks, but my estimated scores were, out of 800: verbal: 640, Analytical: 790.

The test, if you don't know, adjusts the difficulty to suit your previous results, and after the first few math problems it was really coming up with some crazy stuff. Heh. I wish I'd done better on the verbal but I'm ever so pleased with my analytical results.

wow, a test

2005-10-03T21:42:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to be writing a paper about euthanasia, so you know what that means...I'm doing something else! Like filling this out that I ganked from my sister's blog.

[A is for age:] 21
[B is for booze of choice:] You can have mine, thanks.
[C is for career:] God knows...writer or engineer.
[D is for your dad's name:] David
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:] Snacks
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] Brother -- by Dark New Day
[G is for favorite game:] World o Warcraft
[H is for hometown:] Grand Rapids!
[I is for instruments you play:] Cello yo
[J is for jam or jelly you like:] Blackberry!
[K is for kids?] Hopefully several, at some point.
[L is for living arrangements:] In a dorm
[M is for mom's name:] Mary
[N is for name of your crush:] None right now. But I'm down with that.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] None so far...
[P is for phobias:] Bugs in my clothes, maybe.
[Q is for quotes you like:] TIMMYYY! RUHLIBALAHH
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest] None that really counted. Alexandra I guess. That was like 2 years.
[T is for time you wake up:] Usually as late as possible, or 10, whichever comes first.
[U is for underwear:] Briefs! So?
[V is for vegetables you love:] Cauliflower! With tonnns of butter.
[W is for worst habit:] procrastinating
[X is for x-rays you've had:] a couple, nothing exciting. You know, teeth and stuff.
[Y is for yummy food you make:] Everything I can. Especially homemade noodles.
[Z is for zodiac sign:] Virgo.
--------------
Then I took another test sort of thing.

Yoda
You scored 62% wisdom, 58% aggression, 68% power, and 58% morality!

One of the most powerful Jedi of all time, you possess the best of all worlds. Your wisdom is vast and unquestioned, and you use it for good. You are an amazingly powerful and skilled fighter, and only use aggressiveness for battle, and only battle when necessary. Lastly, your sense of morality is without peer. You always do what is right, and know that the dark side is hollow and unnatural.

---------------

Yeah, I'm feeling much better about life since my last post. That's pretty much thanks to God. Talked to my mum and some other folks, and that was encouraging too. Okay, I'm gonna write my paper now.

...

2005-09-30T14:24:00.000-06:00

not much to say.

I'm heading out for a paintball tournament in Kansas today. Long drive, short stay, etc., and I'll be poor afterwards. Hm. Hopefully it will be fun. Too much to think about on the drive. Just like last year for the Kansas tournament. It's hard to "never again"...

Monday

2005-09-27T01:23:00.000-06:00

Hm...GRE was canceled due to Rita, despite Rita being long-gone. They gave no advance notice so we blew 2.5 hours getting out there and back...now we'll need to reschedule, I suppose. Ah well. I got back in time to help with my machine design team's presentation.

In other news, I actually just got a vibrations problem done. Go me.

Heh. Have a great week!

boooooring!

2005-09-25T18:04:00.000-06:00

Well, Rita proved to be pretty anticlimactic. It rained and blew, moderately, a few trees fell down, and we went berm sliding. Today, if it weren't for the stuff all over the ground--leaves, sticks, etc.--you wouldn't have imagined there had been anything of the sort yesterday. Hardly a cloud in the sky!

Now, I'm glad there wasn't much damage...but I really do enjoy a good bit of crazy weather. It's just so...I dunno, there's something about going outside and seeing all kinds of stuff messed up that's awe-inspiring. Exciting, even. God's Creation is way bigger than we are!

So anyways, I guess we're good.

Gimme an R...

2005-09-24T02:16:00.000-06:00

Okay, yes, so you know: there's this hurricane thing on its way, more or less. Looks like it's going to settle down like the proverbial hen on her proverbial nest and dump on us for a few days...at least, until Monday. The good news is, it's mostly looking like rain and some moderate (well, for a hurricane) winds...no biggie, really. We'll be looking at flooding and power outages, I guess, but nothing life-threatening. I mean, campus is housing refugees from further south, so I'm figuring we'll be aiight. Pray nobody gets hurt!

Went up to Mount Pleasent today and flew my first real R/C helicopter. The instructor was very impressed! I flew awesome, if I may say so...13 hours on the simulater sure helped. I wanna fly some more now. It's sooo cool. Being the pilot for the Phoenix project rules!

Also, I'd like to request some prayer on Monday for the GRE test. That sucker's pretty important!

Finally!
A big shout out to Abbi Shive, who's 20 today! Congrats!!

brains!

2005-09-20T23:15:00.000-06:00

I got a big kick out of this.

Yeah, I'm aiight.
Fuller post later, maybe much later, but ehhh...
I got an interception in the football game tonight! And like...a bunch of yards!
(by the way)

Weekendified

2005-09-12T14:31:00.000-06:00

Talk about a busy weekend...wow. It was fun, but darn, I didn't get much done! heh.

Friday Quad 4 shipped out to Sky Ranch, which is more like some kind of camp crossed with Disney World and shrunk only vaguely. We made ourselves a fire, hung out, turned out the lights, and joked around after that for about two hours before everyone actually fell asleep. We knew there would be some kind of service project for Blitz in the morning, but we weren't sure what.

Then we met up with this maintenance dude. He pointed out some structures in the middle distance and said "Go over there and tear those down." Or something like that--either which way, we went and flattened, then broke up and trailered away, a large steel tent structure. That was pretty fun. Then they pointed us to the stable-turned-paintball field next door and told us to get the roof off of it. We bashed at that for an hour, then figured out that the roofs were seperate from the metal building frame, and actually just wired and/or ziptied on, so we clipped all the wires and ripped them off as completely as possible using some truckish-golfcartish maintenance vehicles. That was sweeeeet. Loud and destructive! Wee. Someone got videos, so hopefully we can all get our hands on those later.

I only got a few cuts and a bunch of blisters from working without gloves...made shampooing extremely painful, but hey, whatever, right? Anyways, after the morning's work we got hooked up with some very nice burgers, then hit the waterslides and the pool, which had a great diving board. I spent maybe two hours jumping off the diving board...it was a lot of fun. Working on my can openers and front flips. Ikky splashed the poor lifeguard with his cannonballs that went halfway to the moon. Where'd he get those ups?

Sunday (9-11...4 years, where'd they go?) after church was paintball tryouts. That was pretty okay...I don't know if I have the money to really be doing it too much this year. Getting $$ from my book is going to take a while, I know that. Anyways, it was fun, I shot some peoples, got shot...gotta get my skills back a little maybe. Sunday night I was so out of it from being sick (Have I mentioned I'm sick? Blah!) and tired that I didn't get anything done, but I didn't really mind. I got some sleep instead. Hah.

Another week...lots of homework...the difference between junior and senior year is even bigger than sophomore versus junior! Nobody told me that...guess I shoulda asked. Or just been more observant. It's getting hard to make legitimately work-free time for hanging out. Time to press on and work harder! Hope everyone else is still afloat!

Alive and something!

2005-09-07T23:25:00.000-06:00

Well, first I got back to school, and then school attacked me. heh. I have not yet begun to fight...really. I'll get around to homework eventually. A little sleep, a little slumber, wait...no, that's bad. I remember now. Right. To work!

Anyways, cool stuff has been happening, and prayers have been answered (as always--who's faithful? GOD is)...for instance, I made the Pheonix team, which is *very cool*. I would never have had the interest to even get started on one of those cars or something. Blah! Also, I just got some letter in the mail saying that I've passed the World Journalism Institute June term. So that's done, thank goodness. Oh yeah, and the BIG answer to prayer, I got into all the classes I needed to.

Now...I just gotta do all that work. There is quite a bit of it, really. Prayer that I can be diligent enough to stay atop my homework would be vastly appreciated.

I've been thinking lately about how much my friends rock and where I'd be without them. Heh. Apparently the other night "I" haunted poor Lucky's dreams, trying to kill him. A lot. Sorry Lucky! Hope you dream of nicer things next time, like smoothies!

Aiight, g'night!

Football!

2005-09-03T13:39:00.000-06:00

wow! I seem to be melting.

2005-08-31T14:15:00.000-06:00

Well, let me get all my whiney stuff out of the way right now. It's soooo hot in Texas! waaaah!
Done.
How about all that stuff going down in New Orleans? Sometimes you start feeling like that sort of thing--hundreds/thousands dying in natural disasters--doesn't happen in the U.S. any more, but God's creation is still way, way bigger than we are. It probably will always be. By probably I mean without question, of course. I'm praying for them victims. There's a bunch of refugees from N.O. in Longview right now. So I sit in my room with the A/C up and count my blessings, because God has been awesomely good to me! Nuthin' to complain about, seriously.

My computer just got here this afternoon, so if you wanna hit me up on AIM, now's your chance. Before now I was filling my time with editing my book. Not that I won't get that done now, of course!

And I gotta say: it is awesome to be back with my friends. Abbi, Ben, and Brianna all showed up to get me from the airport, and we went off for a Walmart run same night together. I missed them, and everyone else, and all that sort of thing all summer, not kidding. I'm looking forward to this semester lots and lots.

Hm. Still gotta get my class schedule all ironed out, but that's slowly getting done. Cool. I'm working on an evaluation of my summer to be posted later. It was, in short, exactly what I needed, though. For sure.

old enough...?

2005-08-26T18:01:00.000-06:00

In case you missed the memo, I turn 21 on Saturday.

Feel free to leave gifts with my roommate, after threatening him sufficiently so that he does not eat them*
(*With apologies to my roommate)

In no particular order or level of helpfulness, here are some of my favorites to help you out.
My favorite...
Candy Bar: Snickers
Bird(s): Nuthatches, Kingfishers, Hummingbirds [various], ducks, and hawks
Dog(s): Corgis, Dachsunds, and whatever you happen to own ;) (excepting all black labs)
Thing in the sky: Eclipses, followed closely by nifty clouds and zeppelins
TV: the broken kind. Unless it's really big and free
Food: Homemade noodles and tacos. Eaten seperately
Gem: Opals, followed closely by sapphires. Unless you count girls' eyes, then those
Pop: Sprite, vault, canada dry, and verners
Shirt: I spent three days in a row this summer without one while I worked on my book...that rocked

Anyways, I don't know much about what to think about being 21 yet, but I'll say that the first 20 years of my life have rocked for the most part, and they seem to be increasing in general Rock...itude...so, here's to a lot more years, and stuff. Spent with cool people, preferably.

In general, less interesting fronts of life, I got my license renewed this afternoon; talked to a girl while I waited who was getting ready to go off to GVSU for a master's in occupational therapy, and had been through her undergrad stuff at really conservative colleges that fined her for going to movies or not wearing a skirt.

That reminds me...with everything I've seen about the state of the school system these days...homeschooling my kids (when there are some little people who fit that description, and no, there aren't) is looking better all the time. You can quote me on that in ten years, when that might be something I have to worry about, lol.

finished!!

2005-08-24T09:20:00.000-06:00

Well, my mum told me yesterday we didn't have to go back to Grand Rapids until I finished my book.

So I finished my book.

I guess I saw the end of the tunnel...so to speak. Banged out 8, 770 words between 10 a.m. and 11:50 p.m., bringing the finished total to 69.6k, which should publish in the neighborhood of 275-300 pages, I think. There's a particular song I listen to when I've finished something, because it makes me feel happy--Piano Lesson by Donut Junkie--and I played that as I wrote that last, heartwarming sentence to wrap the whole thing up. It felt good.

Now...editing and illustrating comes next! I'm hoping desperately that I can finish within a month.

First I gotta pack up and get out of here, though. Man. Woo. I can make it.

destruction

2005-08-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

The only vehicle I've been in for the past 4 days has been a boat. I even took a boat to one of my odd jobs the other day. You see, the DOT has seen to take our perfectly fine, only road access, and remove it (hopefully with the intention of replacing it with another perfectly fine bit of road, but who knows)...so there are huge scrapers and dozers and thingies going back and forth, and I can see their tops over the fence and stuff.

So I'm supposed to finish my book this week, ish, and it's just about time for the exciting climax...not that I've been working diligently or quickly on it lately, but at least the other day I crested 50,000 words, which was my minimum size requirement. Part of me keeps thinking I need to keep expanding, part of me wants to launch right into the action and just wrap it up in another 10k or less...we'll see what happens. It was still cool to hit 50k.

Anywho, after this weekend--say, tuesday--I'll be driving home from da cottage (that apparently doesn't fill the definition properly, so I've been told, being neither "small" nor "cozy"), I'll be heading back to Grand Rapids.

Whoa. It just started dumping rain outside...hard. Cool. More rain just fell than we've had all summer, and I'm not even kidding.

Yeah, so after Grand Rapids, I fly down to LU for my senior year! on the 28th, remember. God's given me a lot of peace about all of this, but I'm still moderately bothered by the fact that I haven't ironed out my schedule yet. Well, I'll take care of it this week, right? Yeah.

Hope everyone who reads dis is doing great and feeling peaceful, for serious. Let tomorrow worry about itself.

yes, hm....

2005-08-14T21:44:00.000-06:00

I think it's official, I finally started missing school. Or at least, being with everyone from school. Up til now I just missed a few people, but it's moved up to missing being there with everyone and the whole schebang of activity. Now that I've learned that still more people are not coming back than was originally suggested, it's looking like a very...different semester. Two weeks on the nose until I get back to school, and Jordan's promised a Taco Bell run as soon as I get there...followed, of course, by the joyful reunion with roomie & friends. Hopefully.

All I want to do before I get there is finish my draft of my book, because once that's done I can be satisfied that I can finish the rest at school. I can illustrate at school...I just can't write stories there (beyond basic editing, which I will be doing)...it's sitting at about 45k words right now...I'm losing steam right now, so I'm moving to wrap it up this week maybe, hoping I can wring about 60k out of the storyline. I think illustrating it will be fun. I'm hoping I can find people around LU that vaguely resemble my characters so I can work from photographic reference.

So back to missing everyone. It's interesting how bad this has hit me in the past few days...sometimes you just wanna get together and chill with some people, no? Thanks to the wonder of our modern transportation system and the bizarre nexus of randomly distributed people that come together in College, some people I really wish I was with right now are spread from Canada out to the East coast, and back all the way to Cali. Fooey!

Oh well, gotta deal with life as it comes, no? To everyone that's going down to school early this week: I'm praying you guys have safe travel. I'll be there on the 8:30 pm flight on Sunday, the 28th, and you can certainly feel free to hit the airport and see me /pick me up--sound good? Hehe. Rock on.

Anyways, today we trailered our speedboat and dumped it in Lake Michigan, and then we motored all over the place for a while. The waves were big and made for a really fun/bumpy ride, and I didn't get seasick, which was an answer to prayer. Last time I was out there in a boat I was just a kid, and man, I was pathetically ill.

Aiight, that's it for the night, yo.
Required Reading...Romans 12:14-end

picture post!

2005-08-12T21:13:00.000-06:00

Here's all kindsa pictures. This will kill your 56k, so kill your 56k first.

Cousin Cody, with Leanna and Olivia in the background.

Olivia showing off her dad's watch.

Grandpa's dachsund, Peggy.

Cousin Jono.

Leanna and Olivia watch the turkeys.

Left to Right--Mom, Julie, Will, cousin Carson, Uncle Bob--eat at our beach picnic.

Cousin Carson. Aunt Janet and Leanna in background.

Dad, and Jono on his head.

Carson and Jono discuss...something

Jono and Leanna

Me and Jono...lookit that sky back there, it was cool.

Mama turkey with her entrouage of turklets

Dad and Max

From hiking Lake Michigan: Richard and Sunset

A shot of "Pyramid Point"

A hugemungous petoskey we saw but couldn't take with us, since it was in a boulder.

Myself and Richard during a break from hiking.

That's all ya get! :)

and...submit

2005-08-07T12:25:00.001-06:00

Well, I sent off my last obligations to WJI the other night...and came right down to the wire doing it, as always. I think my final paper--about a Christian worldview framework for mathematics and the need for one in technical education--turned out pretty okay. If you're interested in it I'd be happy to email you a copy...just slip me a note to my email.

Now it's back to my book. If I can make money doing this, I will. It's been so long since I've been properly working on a book, and I had begun to fear I was no longer capable of it...but I am, and it's tons of fun too.

Anyways...I'm off for the next few days for another hike up the shores of Lake Michigan, starting where we left off last year in Glen Arbor. Bringing a camera this time, too. I'm really looking forward to it (And then of course, getting back to writing :D)

Man, school's approaching...blah!

work?

2005-08-02T17:58:00.000-06:00

So, this week, I'm supposed to be finishing this big research paper for the World Journalism thing...about 2k words about the topic I chose, namely the application of faith in the teaching of technical college courses. It's due Friday, and my research is barely anywhere...blaah. I don't think I want to be a journalist, but I do want to finish what I started...and yet, I don't want to do the work. But I need to, and I probably will. I'll be working on it tonight, yet, I guess.

Instead of working on the paper this afternoon I did crank out about 4,000 words for my book, bringing the sum total up to 37.3k, or 74 pages of single space 12 point, which is way further than I figured I would be for the point in the story where I am. I still have the best bunch of the book ahead of me, and that's exciting. People keep stealing my printups, and a new one is running off right now...

Hm. I also started Shadowfolk back up! In pencil, for now, but in my humble opinion it looks pretty sweet. Check it!

Other exciting news, well, a squirrel vaporized himself this morning in a high-voltage switcher and left a few thousand people up here without power for the morning. That was interesting.

Recommended reading: Dig Ephesians 2 and 3, mostly 2. Also, Wild at Heart is a very good book, so you should dig it too. There was something in there I wanted to share, but I forget what and the book is too far away to go get right now. You'll just have to poke through it and find it for yourself.

A new week! yay!

2005-07-24T22:01:00.000-06:00

Well, Annie Get Your Gun is over now, finally. It was a lot of fun while it lasted, but yah, I'm ready for a break. Most of my beloved cousins went home today too, so it will be much more quiet around here. I was so busy this week that I didn't get barely any writing done, but nonetheless the book is up to 24k words plus 3 prelim ill's and a really rockin-looking map. I'm shooting for at least 60k words and maybe like...as many illustrations as I can produce. This week will be much writing and stuff.

I finally got my act together and drew up a new shadowfolk and put that up, so hopefully people will be slightly happier than they were before...ha.

I've got a lot of pictures to post, and I'll be putting those up soon (maybe). I want to show you guys where it is that I hang out in the summer so that you'll all get jealous and come visit me. Not that I'm desperate just yet for summer to come to an end, but I was thinking wistfully of Wal-mart runs with Ben and the ladies the other day. I am starting to miss everyone. I'm praying for you guys, and I hope you're all rocking your summer!

abundance of sun...

2005-07-14T08:36:00.000-06:00

Whew, it's plenty toasty of late! Everyone stumbles around, hot and sticky. Luckily there's the lake to hop in right over there...I've been off skiing, tubing, kneeboarding and just plain swimming to get out of the heat.

I also got a role in the local performance of Annie Get Your Gun. I play "Pawnee Bill," about the fourth-down men's part in terms of lines and stage time, which suits me fine. Practice is every day for these 2 weeks, and the show'll be on the 22nd and 23rd. Getting to the practices has been a little tough with all the roadwork on the only road outta here, but you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

Writing has been going well, but much slower than I'd hoped--about 3-4k words per day, and I've had to take a day or two off so far. The story is coming along great, though. I feel confident that I can get this published.

Man, I'm looking out the window right now, the sun's all but blinding on the water now, burning off the fog over the lake...God's creation is so breathtaking!

Disparity

2005-07-05T10:53:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so I left the cottage when there was no-one here, and now it's the peak of the season: the 4th of July Weekend. Yesterday was the CSA bachelors versus married men softball game, and in authentic CSA fashion, there were 30 married men and 20 bachelors slugging it out. My cousins Cody and Carson and I played...Carson was especially surprising, as he held his own with the college dudes even though he is in 7th grade...what a slugger!

We went to the Frankfort fireworks last night too. They had some sort of technical problems and started about an hour late...then, after a great show, it just sort of petered out instead of having a grand finale like usual. So that was odd. I've never seen aught like it.

The journalism thing was totally awesome. Very hard work...but the people running it, and the students taking it, were all great people. I enjoyed myself a lot and learned a lot. I learned about politics, journalism, and about people. I'm not sure journalism is a path I want to pursue, however; I loved the writing, but the reporting I just don't like very much.

Speaking of writing: I have a crazy new scheme. I have concocted an awesome new book idea, and I'm going to hunker down and write like crazy to see if I can get the whole thing done in roughly a week to ten days. Yeah. We'll see how it goes!

Sleep tight...

2005-06-30T08:17:00.000-06:00

The bedbugs have been biting.

Yes, our motel is almost hilariously bad. There are baby cockroaches that try to shower with me in the morning. The guy that drives the shuttle between the motel and the metro station is mean and grumpy, especially to old people. The cleaning people steal our shampoo and soap if we open it and use it even once...then replace it with fistfuls of facial soap. Yes, and people are getting bitten by something at night.

So I was looking under my mattress for bedbugs. Didn't spot any of those...but there, under my bed, were thoughtfully placed porn magazines. Not only that, but a used!trojan! AUGH! What the fizzle is the maid service for if not getting that filth the heck out of my room before I get there?

I figure that this whole thing will be hilarious...later...

For now, it's really unsettling. Oh well.

Whoa, it's like...the Capitol and stuff

2005-06-22T11:24:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm in Washington, D.C. What am I doing here? Working and stuff, clearly!

The WJI course has been really interesting so far, and it's been a huge time investment. They've been sending us out into the city in search of news stories this week, so I've been around, but I haven't had much time for seeing the sights yet. I spent some time at the National Mall on Monday, during which time I spent a mere 6 minutes in a cool sculpture museum, and only 10 minutes at the Air & Space museum.

Last weekend I did manage to go visit the Shives, who live north of Baltimore a bit. I took the Metro (DC's city train-subway thing) up and met Justin in Green Belt, and we drove up. The area they live in is amazing, I must say. It's beautiful. If you said I couldn't live someplace in Michigan (or living in Detroit was the only choice) then I think I'd gravitate that way. It's the first place beyond home I really thought was okay. Plus, the Shives are a great family, but you knew that.

Hmm. I don't think I want to work for a newspaper, unfortunately, now that they've told me all about how that goes, but on the other hand the material is fascinating, the work challenging, and the people in the course are great. I do have a roommate after all, but he's cool. So it's all good!

I feel pretty

2005-06-01T10:32:00.000-06:00

I finally took the dive and got contacts. They're pretty different, I guess, but I think they're pretty cool, and I think I'll stick with them.

In the interest of getting all the reading and writing done for the upcoming journalism course, I'm up at my cottage now, with nobody to play with and distract me, and so far it's working out pretty well. It's a lot of work to get done yet...but I can make it, I think.

An added bonus of the course I found out recently: I seem to be the only guy attending. Hee.

Home, home again

2005-05-13T13:05:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm home again, all safe and sound!

I'm sitting right now in my Dad's office, filling in for the receptionist and answering the phone. The tough thing about this is that people hear me--a guy--answering the phone, assume I'm my dear ol' dad, and launch straight into their shpiels. Oh well.

Other than that--I'm good, I'm home, grades are in and I keep my scholarships! Praise God. The birds certainly sing here at home much more. I thought at first that mom was playing a nature CD. I'm happy to be back with the kitties and dogs too. So much love coming out of those little chunks of fuzz! I got a lot of feedback about my book from an editor who read the manuscript so I'll be shlocking that up for the go as soon as my computer gets here.

Packing up this year was more or less painless. Less so were the good-byes...I was aching to get out of there and be done with school but at the same time, I felt like I was leaving during the best part of the movie with regards to my friends. I don't like good-byes, especially not long ones--give me good but short ones. Next year will be a very different one in many, many ways, and then I'll be the one doing the leaving. If only this country weren't so wretchedly large.

Well, I'll sing the praises of IM and Gmail, but it's not the same. I miss you.

wooooo

2005-05-04T20:07:00.000-06:00

Yeah, my finals were all overconfident and stuff after this semester, and they were all like "You don't know this stuuuuffff" And I was all like "Oh yeah I dooooo" and then I kicked them all over and had my way with them. BOOM.

oh yeah, and what's better than a glass of fresh OJ, am I right?

So, whassupwhitchooooo?

2005-05-02T19:19:00.000-06:00

Whassupwitme?

Well, I'll start with my weekend, which was excellent. uhm. Okay, my train of thought derailed for a minute...sorry. Well, I did a lot of hanging out with my goodest friends. I can't express how much I missed that for most of the semester. I feel like...yeah, I feel good about it. Leaving this year is gonna be really hard; both with with people graduating and just putting geographical space between myself and friends that I know I'll see come fall...it's hard. So, on Saturday we had a huge party thing at Darryl's house, with fire and food, and about two or three dozen people, and ultimate frisbee, and...stuff. I enjoyed it. I think the highlight of my night was the canoe ride we went on after dinner...it was peaceful out there.

I picked up the newest Redwall book at the bookstore on Sunday, for something new to read on the flight home (that's on Sunday)...I think in general, Jaques is running out of ideas and getting rather formulaic, but I still enjoy his writing immensely. I also had a look at Wild at Heart, which I'm going to pick up once I get home. Things I think I ought to learn in there...Leastwise it looks like it. Something that weighs in my heart is treating the women in my life the way they deserve.

So anyway...Finals started off Monday with two of my toughest classes--Heat Transfer and Mechanics of Materials--right in the morning, with Engineering Project Management in between. EPM's a good class but in terms of difficulty level it's sort of a joke. In actuality, none of those exams wound up being hugely difficult, and I pulled off a 95% on M&M, giving me a solid B in that class, which is so sweet. Praise God, yo. Seriously. I think I get to keep my scholarships now.

So tomorrow I have two finals, stats and Mech & Kin, which I don't forsee horrible issues with, and a final paper for Organizational Culture, which I'm working on today. Packing out of here is gonna be terrible, though. Ugh. And Even though I don't fly out until Sunday, there will be girls moving into our dorm on Saturday night, which in my opinion is messed up...hah. My dorm!

I figured out what's gonna happen this summer...besides not getting a job...and it's this:
http://worldji.com/courses.asp?course_id=1

aw

2005-05-01T19:28:00.000-06:00

http://www.boltcity.com/copper_026_signals.htm

hehe...

I talk sometimes

2005-04-30T23:27:00.000-06:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

something more detailed to come as soon as I...uh...have studying to do...heh

What book of the bible are youuuu?

2005-04-27T10:21:00.000-06:00

You are Romans.

Which book of the Bible are you?

Arg! me back.

2005-04-21T00:24:00.000-06:00

Florida was darn sweet. Totally relaxing...when we weren't competing, anyways. I had a great time, we played pretty good paintball, learned some new tricks, came in 12th at Nationals. The car trip was fine. We watched all but the first two episodes of Band of Brothers, for instance. That helped pass time.

I've also been finally getting some schoolwork-monkeys off my back. Presentations, for instance. I really don't like presentations, and I think I would be better at them with practice, but I de-stress myself over them by just realizing that no matter what I do, it will be over at whatever time the class ends. That can be comforting sometimes.

Anyways, there's honestly not much to get done left in the semester, other than pray for my friends, both at school and at home--I know stress levels, they's a-rising, so yeah, that's been on my mind. I finally feel pretty good. I don't know if I said so already or no, but I've decided not to get a formal job this summer, and shoot for non-taxable income only while I work on my book once school gets out. I so can't wait.

Nationals

2005-04-14T00:40:00.000-06:00

Well, our team is off to florida in a big blue smelly 15 passenger van Thursday morning...it's an 18 hour car trip and I am not happy about that, but Nationals should be way fun...time for us to show them who's boss in paintball. We'll be back Monday so I can tell you how it went.

Mum is down here to visit too...it's been really great hanging out with her...we got some stuff figured out. I may not wind up getting official employment this summer...which in my opinion, would be awesome. I can probably drum up enough outside business to make money since I know a lot of people that like me to work for them up at the cottage. Plus...I would have some time to really finish off my book and get it kicking. It seems weird and counterproductive to not make taxed income for a summer...but I don't think it will be. I need to recover anyway.

bonus

2005-04-12T00:06:00.000-06:00

I made up this song yesterday but forgot for a while.

"We are the rodents
Who don't do anything

we make cute noises
and lie around

and when you want us
to do anything
we'll just sit there
'cause we are guinea pigs!"

Actually, I think I had it better the first time, but this is as good as I can recall. Goodnight.

Hey, hey.

2005-04-11T00:00:00.000-06:00

Well, this was a pretty long weekend. The field that hosted the tourney last week--which we took second at, more on that in a minute--offered us free everything to come back and play, so we drove all the two hours out to Dallas Saturday morning and did. We got shot up a lot, shot a lot; it was good and challenging. Today I worked on our mechanics of materials stuff a lot. I have a great deal to get done before we leave for nationals on Thursday.

Now, speaking of that tournament, we took second and it was so rediculous, because the only game we lost of 11 games was the last one, and that was enough. But we just looked at the rankings that got updated and it says we got first at that tourney. Now, it could be two things...A) they made a mistake, or B) UNO gave up first for some reason. We don't know quite what's going on yet, but a mistake seems darned unlikely. We did play really awesome; I mean, we raan roughshod over just about everyone just about every game. With that first place, our team is ranked SECOND in the U.S. Which is darn awesome. On the other hand, it means people will actually pay attention to us at nationals next weekend. Oh well. Carpe Diem, baby. Sometimes I do that.

Mum is coming to visit this week! I'm excited about that. Tuesday morning, she's coming in...This is the longest stretch I've ever been away from home and I'm not toooo pleased about it. I'm firmly now of the opinion that most places in the world pale in comparison to Michigan in the long run (for short term visits, I'm open to other suggestions), but yeah, I wish I was home. School is nearly done anyway which I can't doggone believe, and durned if I don't have plenty to get done just to prove it. Anyways, Mum'll be here til Friday, and I'm only here til Wednesday, so I guess she can play with everyone else that's here, or just kick it at the hotel for a bit and relax.

Hm, what else...well, I found two anoles in various bushes today. Not often that you see them, though I'm sure I miss plenty because they're camoflagued little guys...I tried catching one, but he just went further into the bush and eyed me, like, "What're you doing? Now see here, mister!" So that was nifty. They're cute little dudes.

Revelations!

2005-04-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Yes! Well, the more I think about it the more I'm pretty sure I'm depressed right now. Before I ever experienced it I generally looked down on the whole concept, but really that was both naive and arrogant of me. You can't so much just talk yourself out of it.

I'm unsure if I am just coming off of the tail end of seasonal affective disorder or something far worse...it's probably the former option. Time will tell. I don't know what I'll do in the mean time...stay off of my computer a little more maybe. That's easy enough with all of its problems lately. Mostly what I plan on doing is not taking my more dire and dismal feelings very seriously (at least, in the sense of...well, you know. Not let myself down myself.)

I know I am loved, I know my friends are there, and that makes every bit of difference. The encouragement of a couple of certain peoples was awesome today.

Well, other good stuff happened today, like in materials I showed Dr. Lee how he graded me wrong and I got 8 points back on my test, which was rockin. Also, we're going to Dallas tonight to play in the SCCC championships tomorrow, hopefully to bring home another first place trophy...

mehr

2005-03-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

It seems like it never ends...things to do on top of things to do...I can't get away. If I seem a little less than happy lately it's probably because I am, what with tests every few days and my computer now deciding it doesn't like being on, per se. I'll be fine though...Sometimes I feel like whatever I do, God'll pull me through whether I work much or not, but really it's more like He'll work out some of my choices towards His plan whether I make good choices or not, so I can't so much slack like I wish I could. Or more accurately, do, but yeah, it's all only vaguely sensical anyway. I need to pull up and get back to operating altitude, man. I feel like I haven't had time or energy to really invest in my friends much this semester...I don't feel as close as I used to, like there are emotional gaps opening up that I can't fill, and no, that doesn't make sense to me either...it's late anyway and I start trying to write down whatever when it's late. Gotta quit bein up so late...(yeah, I took a bit out here. You didn't miss anything)

Anyways, I feel better joggling that all out of my head.

Dr. Austin came and did devos with us tonight, which I thought was really neat...I don't think there are many universities where you can just invite the president down for devos. He's a cool dude, honestly.

Easter weekend

2005-03-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

Something pretty odd happened on Thursday...I was all supposed to drive up to Becky's for Easter with a really good chunk of my buddies, but Thursday afternoon I started getting what I can only describe as a "bad feeling" about going. I felt a little sick anyway, and I was weighing all the things I needed to get done against how much it would rock to spend Easter with my friends, and I just decided to stay. I prayed about it a lot, yes, for peace about staying...all I got was a worsening feeling about going. That really doesn't happen to me often. Almost as soon as they left I felt better about life, for the most part.

It was all sort of weird, really, I don't know what all exactly was happening. Sometimes you think God is telling you something when that happens, but sometimes (oftentimes?) it's just you. It usually takes time to tell.

Tell you what though, I miss those people this weekend...I think I'm dealing with a very mild bit of seasonal affective disorder just lately, or maybe for a while and it was masked over by other stuff and now it's out...which wouldn't surprise me entirely. It's getting sunny again, and I'm doing my best to think happy thoughts and keep working. It's less like I feel down and more like I just don't feel like accomplishing anything. Maybe those are the same. Right now I wish somebody'd sign in on AIM that I wanted to talk to. I'm able to say that I've got lots of friends here, good friends I guess, but I've only been able to really invest in a handful of people, a few that are pretty much out of the picture now, some that will be soon, and some I don't get to see enough of any more...things are always changing, people especially, myself especially, who knows. Been hangin with some good buddies this weekend anyways. Good times.

Here's to another week.

My face!...err, break!

2005-03-21T02:29:00.000-07:00

Man! It was a break of many things...more people than I cared for, for one thing...I realized after a bunch of people got here on saturday just how much I wanted some time by myself (nothing against the people that got here on Saturday...it just got too...loud...) and I only got so much of that this week. Even if people weren't on me constantly, there is a difference between living in an empty dorm, and living in a dorm with people still in it...

Other important things went down this break too, and I'm sorta glad they did even if everything didn't shake out just how I wanted it to. Better that things should go...how they should rather than how I wish they would...Anyways, Ben's back so I have company worth talking to again :)

pride

2005-03-19T00:24:00.000-07:00

Do you know why pride goeth before a fall? Because you start underestimating people.

Wisdom from gaming. Heh.

the occasional thought on break.

2005-03-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

Hm. I ran the bathroom heater all afternoon so it would be toasty in there, and tonight when I took my shower things were different--the shampoo was super runny, the shower curtain was softer, even Ben's dish soap was sloshy. My toothpaste just about oozed out of the tube. Nifty stuff.

We drove 12 hours up to Kansas State University on Friday (all of Friday) and Saturday morning we beat them on their home turf. First place out of 13 teams. When we drove in I saw that there was a big center bunker--my favorite and best place to play--and I was overjoyed. I shot an average of about two dudes per game; mostly my job was to shut down anyone trying to move up the outside, and I never did miss somebody I caught in the open, no matter how hard they ran. More than once after a game I had someone coming around asking "Who was that guy in the center X? grrr!" (The X being the shape of my bunker.) Everyone played pretty darn good; we took our first 6 games and lost the last two, at least partly because of wind and gun troubles, but we won them so well they put us solidly in first, and since the wind at that point was gusting past 40 miles per hour, we voted not to have finals and just go home. So we went back to the hotel after a victory meal at Pizza Hut (and if you're not having steak, there's not much better for a victory meal) and watched movies, then drove back on all of Sunday. Since then I have mainly eaten, slept, and played video games, which I am enjoying greatly. Taking things slow. I also called home tonight and talked to mum...they are going to Florida tomorrow, so I'm praying for safe travel on their trip. I guess part of the reason that I stayed here at school was because I figured there wouldn't be people around (or at least, not much in the way of people)...so it would be quiet. But it turns out, the time I really wanted quiet (pre-3 pm or so) everyone's asleep anyways, so I'm getting enough peace and quiet to suit me. Let's hope I can be a little productive sometime this break...

'night.

Decisions

2005-03-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

Basketball was tonight versus 1A. They played us real even at the beginning...then, as we paced them, they started getting really frantic about half way through--playing too fast even when they were open, for instance--and after about the first ten or fifteen minutes they all sorta wore out. Final score was 31-20. I'm playing better every game...I got me some rebounds this time, intercepted a pass, and stole some balls.

The girls played tonight...man, their games are different. I don't know how exactly, they just seem to play nastier sometimes, and the reffing is way way worse. G2 took their game though, which was definitely awesome. Rockin!

---

I don't like it when people are indecisive. It makes me want to get in and help them decide...Sometimes an issue will seem so clean-cut to me, and I get frustrated if somebody doesn't see it my way (or wants to take some time to mull it over anyway)...but you know? Like Jordan told me this morning...Dude, sometimes it just isn't my business. Even if the decision relates to me, it's not my call for them to decide either which way, no matter how much I want that decision to go one way or another. Sometimes I need to butt out of the process altogether and let it go. Decisions will get made...But I don't quit hoping, either.

Now to just survive tonight's homework and I'm home free 'til Spring Break.

China King!

2005-03-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

Runyan is back in style and after a great day of shooting face paintball style, we chilled back at China King. I loved to company, I will say that much. The food was great too, though I was so full of it that the full-tilt racing action on the way home was underappreciated by myself. Beaner had his rear-windshield cleaner squirter all broken so it piddled on the car behind us, generally TJ's, which was greatly hilarious.

Been thinking about the future a little more seriously than usual lately. Where, realistically, will I be in 2 years? Who is going to be important to me at that time and where will they be? It starts to impact my thinking towards my friends now.

--Keep on rockin--

Spring Break

2005-03-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

kiolia: what gun are you buying?
CXHXAXZ on Q4: sonic cyborg as soon as the check comes
kiolia: tight
kiolia: :-D
kiolia: way to not comprimise
kiolia: when will check get to you'
CXHXAXZ on Q4: but that means no spring break :-(
kiolia: you can chill wit me instead G
kiolia: Me > skiing
kiolia: and cheaper too
CXHXAXZ on Q4: kill me now or get me booze

Orange!

2005-03-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

I love orange juice. And I also love orange julius drinks...so I finally got around to making one at Saga for lunch today. It made me happy. I think I'm nearly over the flu too.

I came up with a new way of articulating my reactions to the thomas lounge peoples...
I think that dating should be about exploring each others' minds, not exploring each others' bodies.

Cuddling a little is one thing but second base (and in public too! c'mon...) is quite another...

weekend

2005-02-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

This was a good weekend. Got enough sleep. Did some unexpectedly cool things with respective friends. Had some good, encouraging conversations. Some things seem to be moving in good directions...just in general. Chillin with my roomie rocks, too.

Thursdays

2005-02-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

I think I enjoyed last night a lot. I hung out with Daryll (who, incidentally, left today so he could leave for Israel on Monday). He was coming in and out a lot...and we went outside with my killstick (steel pipe) and batted my taco bell sauce packets until they all exploded, and then we went into the lounge. After I didn't put a hole in the wall with the killstick we got out a 2-by-4 and played baseball with a whole freezer full of ice, which was sweet. We also went to common grounds and played connect-4 in line for $1 anydrink.

Additionally...
I always wondered what it would be like to repeat a course. Easy? Just as annoying? Would lectures drive me crazy because I'd already heard them?

The answers are interesting. I don't remember anything from the course the first time around. However, I seem to learn it all again without further study, and on tests, it mostly seems like the questions can't possibly be the right ones because they feel too easy. (Current test records: 110% and 104% compared to 78% and 88% the first time around). (Oh yeah, I guess I should mention that I dropped stats first time through because the B I had was going to kill my scholarship, only it turned out later it wouldn't because the registrar had my GPA messed up. A story for another time.) It's great having one less class that needs real looking after, since my policy has always been to pad out my class schedule with english stuff to keep my GPA up...

cello

2005-02-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

In case you don't know, I play cello. Well, I guess more like I played cello from fifth grade on through 12th, every morning, and enjoyed it mostly. I mean, obviously you don't enjoy something you do every day all the time, but I did have a good time. I can still remember playing twinkle twinkle little star variations from the Suzuki Method books for my great grandma Janet ("Play that jazzed up one again, James, I like those.") I play her cello...'twas made in 1919 and does it sound nice.

Ben and I passed notes in class today during organizational culture. It was awesome.

braaaaiins....

2005-02-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

I think that hands down, the coolest thing about the flu is the way it shuts down my brain and stuff.

Plus we lost to 2A in the first game of the playoffs so we're done with that...and I'm really sorta beat up from the game. Add in with that the way I just realized that I had an assignment due tomorrow that I had forgotten about, and it's just another tuesday evening for me. Blaaaah. This is just like last semester, only I don't stay up until 2 AM any more...It's been hard concentrating on stuff lately (for instance, I'm blogging now instead of doing Mech and Kin...)

*cough, wheeze*

And yet at the same time I have been enjoying the company of my friends more than ever. Whether it's been catching up with old buddies or spending more time than usual with new ones, I feel like I've really been doing well from a social standpoint...which makes school seem like even more of a burden than usual. I guess I'll pull through.

well...

2005-02-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

Today I worried about stuff. Relationships. Grades. Health.

I realized tonight: I am thankful for the opportunity to worry about such trivialities.

There's more than a few people out there who have to worry about whether or not there will be a meal for them that day. Whether or not they will be killed for something like their faith. Any number of things that I have never had to deal with.

Darn, we're so blessed.

Down with the sickness

2005-02-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I watched everyone come down with it and suffer, and now I have it. Pretty sure it's the flu: respiratory congestion, aches/cramps, etc. ARG! I feel rotten now. I always hold out almost long enough and then succumb.

Well, God is the great physician. I know He's got my back.

phew.

2005-02-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I woke up to Prairie Home Companion playing on the radio. Justin came in shortly thereafter and we listened for a while...it was peaceful, and made me nostalgic for the cottage kitchen on a Sunday afternoon...sun outside, and the lake, no work.

Rrrg.

Sunday was also TJ's 21st birthday, so we went to Applebees as a group of about 18, somehow were seated with no reservation, and enjoyed ourselves.

And...today was Valentines day. I thought it was pretty okay...it's nice having a holiday to wish people happiness on. But I think that those people touting "SAD" day can (in a totally nice and constructive way) stuff it...I'm unsure why it irritates me as much as it does. Maybe because I'm single, but maybe more because it's an obnoxious phrase! bah! :D In any case, I think a good time was had by most, though Tony, our QB, was off with some girl instead of helping us not lose to Quad 1. Because we did lose. And then I watched G2 play G1, and it was actually a very good game so I stayed and watched all of it instead of doing my heat transfer assignment of doom.

Jimbo is my Valentine

2005-02-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

yup...we even ate at Bodascious Barbeque tonight :D

Heh.

Tonight was probably the best quad 4 party we've had in a while. We had the whole place al mood-lit and stuff...coffee was served...and we hung out for a while. I played the first decent round of hearts I've had in a while with Nate, Bri and Abbi...then John Spiegel started this whole spinning on a bar-stool thing, which fell naturally into several-participant jumprope with a goodly gang of people, and from there we began the first annual Vandal winter indoor track sports competition which started with limbo, and then a high-jump competition (Tim won after clearing about 5' 4" ish...I think I made about 4' 6") followed by a long jump, in which I cleared roughly 14 feet. After that we boxed...I boxed with Hesh and some other dude (both fights ended early, Hesh from a shot to the mouth and the other guy from me hitting his contact out :-/ ). And After THAT, and some coffee and ice cream, I played speed scrabble against a most admirable, but sleepy, opponent. Now I am very sleepy, so I shall play World of Warcraft with ben and do work in the morning...

Second time I've skipped church in a row, oh well. Grandpa Bill is still recovering from brain surgery, which is going well but still slow and occasionally frustrating, so praying for him=awesome.

a picture or two.

2005-02-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Here's us posing with our nice trophy :D

I also posted this picture of our pre-game prayer, which drew the event organizer's attention. He had this to say in an email:

"I was awestruck when I saw your pictures posted on pbnation. The opening shot of the team prayer was great. You don't see too many of those in the pics highlights of tournaments!"

I praise God that we can be out there and be showing our faith through action!

MORE winning!

2005-02-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well, we shipped out Friday night, spent the night in Dalla, and competed this morning in the NCPA Lone Star Bowl versus Oklahoma State, Lousiana State, University of North Texas, Texas Christian, and Southern Methodist. The field was a little sparse but we managed to avoid getting out-gunned this time. We made the finals easily and it all came down to the last game of the day, LSU versus OSU B--if LSU could keep OSU from getting the win, then we would take first place. So we were giving LSU all our spare paint and cheering them on. LSU did wind up beating them, or at least kept them from getting enough points...so we took first. We won a trophy that's about 4 and a half feet tall and little ones for each of us too.

I feel so huge right now. The points garnered off of this tourney put our team, currently, at second in the United States.

Not to brag (too much)...but like, you know how in video games the point is generally to be the best, eventually, work your way to the top spot or whatever? We're doing that, only this isn't no game. We're winning in real life at something real. And I think we're representing our Lord well on the way.

Plus, the refs all liked my gun a lot because they were all sponsored by evil and shoot the same thing... :)

$

2005-02-04T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am worth $2,403,278.00 on HumanForSale.com

Jinkies.